tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53591539546461423822024-02-07T06:26:21.726-08:00[our joy: measured in years, days and moments]The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.comBlogger51125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-13096641562418369612016-12-30T17:13:00.000-08:002016-12-30T17:13:31.013-08:00Lessons Learned<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As I sit here reflecting back on 2016, I'm a bit overwhelmed at the gravity of the changes in our lives this year so instead of a year in review post or a top ten moments, I've decided to wrap up this year with the lessons learned throughout this journey that began over four years ago to become a family a four or maybe it is better title "The things I know now that I didn't know then"...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1.) It will not go as you planned... At all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You will begin your adoption journey. You will have an "ideal" plan, an "ideal" timeline of how things will play out, of when things will happen, of when it will be completed... but God will change all those plans. He will most likely turn all those plans on their head because his plan is better. His plan is best. Don't get me wrong... accepting those changes to your plan is not easy. Ever. But God knows what is best. He writes the best stories. He creates families. He chooses YOU to be the parent for the exact child(ren) he had planned to bring to you. Read Proverbs 19:21. Memorize it the day you send in your application for adoption. Trust me... he is going to teach you what that verse means through any adoption journey.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2.) Adoption is messy and ugly before it is beautiful.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">EVERY adoption begins with loss, sadness and trauma. Just as our adoption through the Gospel is started because of brokenness, sin and separation from our Heavenly father, every adoption story begins because of a great loss that is outside of God's perfect plan for a family. It is so easy to be captured and captivated by the beautiful AFTER pictures of adoption and that is ok, but when God chooses you to adopt, he chooses you to enter into the mess, to understand the loss and to see that only he can redeem the brokenness in every story. Please do not be offended if a family chooses not to share everything about their child's past. It is personal. It is difficult.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3.) No two adoption journeys will ever be the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can send in your paperwork the exact same day, you can be matched with children in the same month from the exact same country, but it will not play out the same. Only God knows how all the details will play out. We began our process very near the time another couple did who also lives in Wichita. We have been home 10 months and they are sadly still waiting to travel. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4.) Adoption changes your life more than the child(ren) you adopt.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We've heard so many times "you guys are changing their lives" or many similar iterations. While we understand the good intentions in which this is stated, we cringe a bit each time we hear it. Adoption wrecks your life in good sense. It flips your world up side down. Your normal isn't normal anymore. Your worldview is shifted. Your heart and lives will always include a family on the other side of the world that you may never meet. Each day I am amazed at the strides our boys have taken in only 10 months, but even more so I am humbled by the daily lessons we learn from them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5.) No matter what, there will be people who just don't get it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">They won't think about the questions they ask. They won't think about the hurt their comments can make. They will say something insensitive, rude or even racist and have no idea. It is just easier to accept that it will happen so you can be prepared with how you will or won't respond in those situations. Sometimes you just have to turn around and walk away, but every once in a while, the Holy Spirit gives you just the right and timely words to speak. Pray for those words!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6.) The paperwork (and questions to answer) will seemingly never end.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just when you think you've filled out the last form, something will change and more paperwork will be required. You will sign more paperwork than buying four houses. You will be fingerprinted more than most criminals (I really am not joking on this one). You will pay for more background checks and immigration clearances that it takes to work in the secret service (ok this one is probably a stretch, but for real though). Oh and the personal questions you answer and then those answers are sent to some government agency half way around the world... yep, prepare yourself to lay your entire lives... personal, financial, emotional, spiritual... out for all to see and assess if you are fit to parent a child. Then the best part is when you are asked if you've considered the implications of bringing two children into your home who come from a difficult past. You bite your tongue and hold back the sarcastic response of "No, I haven't considered what that might be like; I just enjoy filling out hundreds of forms and paying tens of thousands of dollars to do something I haven't thought through at all."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">7.) Your prayer life will change... hopefully for the better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There are so many unexpected curve balls in any adoption journey that your only option is to turn to the Lord in prayer because there is nothing... absolutely nothing you or anyone can do to move your case along. There is also this amazing thing that happens... you get to know other adoptive families along the way.. you will be amazed at how the Lord knits your hearts together with other families who you may never meet in person and breaks your hearts for their kiddos also waiting half a world away to come home. Prayer will bind your hearts together. At times, prayer is often our last resort, but adoption will show you over and over again that it is your only resort and it is the most powerful thing you can do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">8.) You will understand the greatness of the Gospel to a larger degree.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You know your adopted child is your child. There are not "real" children and adopted children. They are all your children. They all carry your family name. They will all share in the inheritance you pass on to them. They are not second class citizens in your family. The brokenness that began the journey for a child to be adopted is redeemed by the love of our Heavenly Father to place the lonely in families. The lost years of their history will be restored. Our brokenness is redeemed at the cross. Our sins are forgiven and washed cleaned. We are joined as coheirs with Christ. We are children of the King. We aren't servants out in the cold, served the scraps and leftovers. We will be seated at the table of the wedding feast. </span>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-39874522731365463002016-06-08T16:08:00.001-07:002016-06-08T16:08:14.792-07:00A Burden, Reminder and Plea to all the Moms of BoysPeople have said for years that becoming a parent changes your perspective. It changes the lense with which you view the world. It changes the way good and in this case bad news affects you. <div><br></div><div>Yesterday I read the letter written by the survivor of the horrible rape to her rapist. He doesn't get anymore description in this post but that. I don't care where he went to college. I don't care what his athletic accomplishments are. </div><div><br></div><div>This news has hit me differently than similar news has in the past. The reason is because of these two blossoming swimmers who are the main focus of my day and time. <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi335uWt9YfoRVS9jBxNJxEgfWIWNQTkZ-U9bcfM7H50YhmYclPu2CSeCt_gsACJXCXooW5MHfnw1IoqZOzia_ShyphenhyphenHjI4XNdGmaWAHls_c61U9LZs0ZnmqE6z6C2-s1QB2bv7zygcvK1cU/s640/blogger-image--1137876810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi335uWt9YfoRVS9jBxNJxEgfWIWNQTkZ-U9bcfM7H50YhmYclPu2CSeCt_gsACJXCXooW5MHfnw1IoqZOzia_ShyphenhyphenHjI4XNdGmaWAHls_c61U9LZs0ZnmqE6z6C2-s1QB2bv7zygcvK1cU/s640/blogger-image--1137876810.jpg"></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As I sit and digest this incomprehensible situation, I feel a great burden as a mom to these two possible future swimmers (who knows what avenues and sports they may pursue).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As their mom, I have the burden to help them gain a healthy respect and view of women. I have the burden to teach them how to put the needs of others before their own needs. I have the burden to teach them how to be a gentlemen. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I cannot wait until a week before they head off to college to teach them how to be a gentlemen. I cannot put off expecting them to value others. It starts now. It starts in how we talk about friends at school. It starts in teaching them respectful ways to describe and talk about others. It starts in teaching them to watch out for each other and protect the vulnerable. It starts in learning healthy and safe ways to treat others, speak to others and even play with others. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">As the years go by, I cannot dodge the hard conversations that will come up when a boy is making fun of a girl in their class because of her weight, skin color, hair, clothes or anything for that matter. I must, we must, sieze the opportunities with our kids to teach them that degrading others, in action or speech, is simply unacceptable. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">When the dreaded teen years come, I will be the mom that insists they dance with the girls who don't have a date at the school dance (and yes I will find out if they don't). I will be the mom that will not tolerate crude or sexual remarks made to anyone. I will also be the mom that discourages them from hanging out with others who think this behavior is acceptable or funny. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I hope to raise our boys to be like the young men on the bike who stepped up to protect this woman in scary situation. I hope to raise them to offer to walk their female friends (and not just a girlfriend) back to their dorm or car after hanging out past dark. I hope to raise boys who give their cell phone number to all their female friends in college so those girls know they can call them should they find themselves in a scary situation. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I am SO grateful to the moms of the guys I was good friends with in college. I can think of 10+ guys who always offered to walk me to my car in the big dorm parking lot so I would never go by myself at night. I remember a good friend who took the same class as I did always making sure we left together to walk to our exams that were at night. Thank you for raising your boys to look out for others, to protect others and to be gentlemen. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">We live in a broken and fallen world and the stories in the news this week are just another reminder of this fact. Sometimes it is overwhelming to think that we cannot do anything about it. In part, that is true. One single person cannot change the culture, except Jesus himself. But, I firmly believe that the way true change happens is in each and every home. It happens in the conversations around the dinner table. It happens in the conversations in the car. It happens at the baseball field and at the swimming pool. It happens only when we make a conscious effort to teach them because our culture will teach them quite the opposite of what we want. It happens by beginning now and not waiting until it is too little, too late. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm new at being a "Mom of Boys" but to all my fellow moms of boys, let's stand together to raise our boys different. Let's rally together and not against each other to show them how to be gentlemen and servant leaders. We have to do it together because your boys will be in my house and mine will be in yours!</div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-17847046184273055842016-04-17T16:44:00.000-07:002016-04-17T16:44:00.645-07:00April 17<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One year ago today as I was walking out of the movie theater, we got "the call" that we had waited right at two years to receive. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One year ago today, our lives changed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One year ago today, we saw the faces of the two boys who now fill our house with laughter, chatter, singing and high energy play.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Harder than Expected</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To say this past year was an easy road to walk would be a lie. To say we walked the road alone would also be a lie. To say we knew what the year would hold one year ago today would also be a lie.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the past year, I have cried more tears than any of my other previous 30 years. I've learned to plead and cry out in prayer like never before. I've learned that we truly have no control and our only hope is to lean on and cling to our sovereign creator and trust HIS plan and HIS way for our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Prior to April 17, 2015, I was confident that the wait before "the call" was going to be the hardest part of the journey, but I was wrong... very wrong. Seeing the faces of your children, knowing their names and a small part of their story but yet not knowing when they will be HOME is nothing less than excruciating. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A year ago our agency quoted a timeline of four to six months when we would travel. More than likely, it would be six month given the two month court closure from August to October. Our case moved forward at what would be considered a "fast" pace for adoption cases through the US embassy investigation through the summer. Many other families just ahead of us in the process traveled right before the courts closed in August so we felt pretty confident we were "next" to travel and it also looked like it was highly possible to travel in October or early November for court and then have the boys home by December or January at the latest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boy were we wrong! As you know, things in country have moved painfully slow since courts reopened in October. It ended up that we traveled for court nine months after "the call" and brought the boys home 10.5 months after "the call". Sadly, we are a "fast" case as many other families just behind us in the process are still waiting to travel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As someone who is very Type-A and detailed/timeline oriented, the wait being exceptionally longer than expected was very hard for me. Thankfully the Lord sustained us and surrounded us with many loving, faithful prayer warriors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Just What We Needed</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The incredible thing over the past year was seeing God provide just what we needed even when we didn't know we needed it. Below are just a few examples, but there are many more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To start, I resigned my job about three weeks before we got "the call" as we knew that we were close to being matched. Our goal was that I would stay home whenever the Lord blessed us with children. With teaching however, you cannot just give a two weeks notice and have to determine before the end of one school year if you plan to return the following school year. We then got "the call" so we knew our decision for me to resign was the right one. Then about a month after we were matched with the boys, Philip was offered an assistant principal job. This was a huge answer to prayer with going to one full time income and be adding two "mouths to feed" to the family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the fall, I signed up for the morning Tuesday Connections women's Bible study at our church. We studied the book of James. (Go check out the verse at the top of this blog that we started when we started the adoption process.) The book of James talks so much about living out our faith and understanding how the Lord uses trials to refine our faith and bring us closer to himself. (The refinement throughout this process is a whole other blog post for later.) This study came along just at the right time and on top of that, I was in an incredible small group of women who cheered us on, faithfully prayed for us, have provided meals and so much more. Most of these women I did not even know until September, but each one has been a huge encouragement and blessing to me during this past year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could go on and on about how the Lord has provided financially for us at each step in the adoption process, but I will just quickly say that he does provide and at many times, in the most unexpected ways. <i>**Side note: if the cost of adoption, especially international adoption, is the reason you are not considering it or are ignoring the tug you might be feeling to adopt, let's talk! Please do not let the cost be the reason you do not adopt. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lastly, the adoption community is incredible. Through social media and other avenues, the Lord has given me an incredible group of adoptive mom's to share stories with, ask questions to, complain and vent to and pray for our kids together. Many of these moms have become such dear, close friends; some I've never met in person. Adoption can be a lonely and frustrating road to walk because no two stories are alike and it is easy to feel like no one "gets it" but thankfully, that was not the case for me. Again, I didn't go looking for this and didn't know how much I would need these women, but the good Lord did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>There is no roadmap or checklist for this</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We've been home with the boys just over six weeks. They've been some of the hardest, yet best weeks of our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The process of adopting has a ton of paperwork, checklists, training, reading and planning. Thankfully, there are highly respectable agencies, social workers and caseworkers that have outlined all of this and provide you with a guide to get through each step of the process. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, there isn't a roadmap or checklist for parenting six-year old twin boys who've spent the majority of their lives in an orphanage and speak a language very different than English. There isn't a list of standards and objectives that tell us when they are ready to start school. There isn't an indicator light that comes on to tell us something is wrong. Our agency does an incredible job preparing you (as much as you can be prepared) for what life will be like, but no two adopted kids are the same just like no two biological kids are the same. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is hard to adequately describe the past six weeks of our lives. Hard, yes. Overwhelming, yes (at times). Exhausting, yes. Fulfilling, yes. Fun, yes. Chaotic, yes. Survival, yes. Rewarding, yes. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To be honest, there are times we look at each other unsure of what is the best way to handle certain behaviors, but we go with our gut. We have done a lot of trial and error. We have screwed up and made some great parenting mistakes. But, the incredible thing about kids is that they wake up each day ready for a great day. They have forgiven and forgotten our mistakes from the day before. Oh that we would forgive as quickly and approach life with such joy as children do daily!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Though we have tough and frustrating moments, overall the boys are adjusting and transitioning incredibly well. In the tough moments when the boys want to do anything but listen, I am reminded of how often in our sin and disobedience we are not listening to the Lord and seeking his wisdom and plan for our lives which is ultimately for our best. I'm reminded that as the boys learn to trust us and bond well with us, that the same is true of our relationship with our heavenly Father. He loves us and pursues us unconditionally, no matter how far we stray and no matter how often we turn away. It hasn't always been easy to love the boys unconditionally when it seems like all they want to do is argue or fight against us or each other on some days, but again, the Lord has reminded me of how often I have refused his love and protection thinking my way was best or that I could control the situation on my own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>April 17</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This will always be a day we remember and celebrate. Much has changed in our lives since last April 17, but the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord has not. </span>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-62906425353589617432016-01-17T11:44:00.002-08:002016-01-17T11:44:52.444-08:00Nine Months<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nine months ago, April17, we got the call that has forever changed our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today we finally got to meet the sweet boys whose pictures we have looked at for the last nine months, whose names and faces we have remembered daily and prayed for, who are the children God saw it fit to give us the privilege to be their parents.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many well-intentioned people have said to us over these last nine months, "oh those boys are so lucky to get you guys as parents." While we understand the intention of this statement is to encourage us that we will be good parents, we would also want you to pause and consider that very little in their life has been what most would consider lucky. Though we aren't publicly sharing their story before they joined our family, I can promise you that their lives have seen little "luck".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had many fears and worries about how today would go. As many of you know my type-A personality causes me to play "worse-case-scenario" far too often. Throw on top of that the many hours of training we have done throughout this process to help prepare us for any case possible, it wasn't hard to plan for the "worst" so to speak but oh how I prayed and hoped for the best.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">God knew my fears and worries and he thankfully made the path straight and smooth once again. The orphanage they are at in Addis is not large so once they opened the gate, we immediately saw most of the older kids outside playing in the small yard and quickly identified the twins! In most cases, you and your spouse go to an office/waiting area type and they bring your child in. I honestly was kind of dreading this scenario because of the anxiousness of it. We didn't officially "meet" the boys outside, but we at least saw them and for me, it washed away so many of my fears and worries.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We spent time in a small lobby area with the twins. They were very cautious and quiet initially. Praise the Lord for small cars, bouncy balls, a blow up mini beach ball and BUBBLES! Even though the boys understood little of what we said, we got to sit and play with them for two hours. The bubbles were a hit, not only with the twins, but all the children running around outside. They quickly warmed up to us as we bounced balls back and forth, crashed cars into each other, blew bubbles all over the place and showed them pictures of family and our home!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Funny side story, I had put a picture of each of
the boys on the outside of each photo album so the orphanage could easily
identify that it was theirs if other kids were looking at it. At one point, one
of the boys was handing his photo book to his brother as he didn't recognize
himself! (yes they are identical, well from what we can tell anyway) but they
also don't see pictures of themselves very often.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We will go back to spend time with the boys again tomorrow and then on
Tuesday go to court to consent to the adoption! Thanks for your prayers and
encouragement! These boys are so well by loved by so many!</span><o:p></o:p></div>
The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-4930274166056821972016-01-05T15:11:00.002-08:002016-01-05T15:11:35.024-08:00An Open Letter to Our Friends and Family... What is to Come (Maybe)<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me start by asking you to read this post with a tone of humility and meekness. We are seeking to express and explain some of what the next few months of our lives might look like and to ask for your help as we begin this unpredictable phase of life. We are so grateful to have such an adoption savvy group of family and friends so most of this information may not come of any surprise to many of you. There may be some things in this post that offend or frustrate some of you however but please know that is not our intent. We desire to be upfront and communicate the little we know about what lies ahead for us. Please feel free to ask us any questions you may have after reading this post! (I apologize upfront for the length of the post but so appreciate you reading!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of the main things we heard in the many hours of training we did in preparation for adoption is that parenting adopted children almost always looks different than parenting biological children. Since we have no biological children of our own, we do not have habits and "go-to-strategies" that we will fall back on or resort to, which may make some of this slightly easier, but many times we will be going with what we have learned to be best for our children but may cause outsiders to question what we are doing in raising our boys. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me start with a brief explanation as to why parenting adopted children has to be different than parenting biological children. Adopted children have all experienced trauma, loss and grief to some extent even children adopted shortly after birth. Children who have spent any time in an orphanage have not consistently had their needs met and do not understand what a family unit is or what a mom and dad figure should do for them. Due to the inconsistency of care, children learn unhealthy ways to get their needs met and/or unhealthy and sometimes destructive ways to cope with those unmet needs. Even in an orphanage with the best conditions and the most loving nannies, children will still deal with issues with bonding, attachment, trust, food, etc. There is a significant amount of research and information out there to help prepare us for these issues and offer advice when we are facing them which we are SO grateful for, but we have had years to digest this information, read it, pray about it and ask questions about it and we want to give you a picture of what this might look like for us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cocooning ---- what is this anyway? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A word that flies around in adoption circles is cocooning. This is the name given to the time right after an adoptive family is home with their child(ren). Just as a caterpillar cocoons to prepare to break out to become a butterfly and fly around the world, the advice given to all adoptive families is to keep your child's world as small as possible (home as much as possible, only venturing out for necessities like doctor's appointments) when you first bring them home. Children from orphanages are used to have numerous caregivers so one of the goals of "cocooning" is for your child to learn to see you and your spouse as mom and dad and to understand that you will be their primary caregivers to provide love, food, shelter, comfort, protection, etc. Also, keeping your child's world small allows them to process the huge transition and change they have just encountered by leaving the orphanage they have known most, if not all, of their life and flown far away to a new place. Even the smallest of children will grieve this loss.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many of you are probably sitting here thinking "loss?" "How is this a loss to be taken way from something we see as horrible and brought into a loving home with a family?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even though an orphanage is not a desirable place to live and grow up, it is what they know as home, it is where they are comfortable and it is where the faces of those who have somewhat met their needs are. They will grieve the loss of all of this. Imagine being plucked from your home, friends, family and city and flown to a place you can't understand what people are saying and know, as much as your young heart can comprehend, that you will never return to the "home" you've known. You would grieve too. Children grieve these losses in a number of ways, but with time, this grief and pain will lessen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even though our boys are school age, they will most likely be at least 2-3 years behind developmentally. Children are resilient and we are confident God is going to do so much in and through them as well as us, but we want to allow them time to learn their new surroundings, learn they can trust us and learn that we are going to be with them for the long haul and that we are not leaving. During the initial weeks and months home with the twins, it is imperative that they see Philip and I as their primary and only caregivers. We want to meet their needs for food, comfort, safety, etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What will this look like for all of you... </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For those who come to the airport to welcome us home, we ask that you not pick up the boys or hug them. I know, it sounds extreme, but we will be firm on this. We highly encourage high fives, fist bumps and hand shakes, if the boys are comfortable with it. Please do not be offended if they are not ready for this. It will come, but please give it time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For at least the first few weeks and mostly likely months, we won't be venturing out of the house to do much and when we do, we will keep it very low-key. We probably won't have visitors over, especially in the first few weeks. Just like parents of a newborn baby stay at home to avoid exposing them to illness or situations too extreme or stimulating, we will be playing it by ear and letting the boys show us when they are ready. If you do come by, please allow us to meet the boys needs for food, water, etc. I know it may seem like you are helping all of us out by getting them a snack, but we want them to ask us for this and we want them to see us provide it for them. If they do ask you for something, we ask that you redirect them to one of us. As another adoptive mom put it, "they are not just learning that we are their Mom and Dad, they are learning what it means to have a Mom and Dad."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To our amazing church family at First Free, we CANNOT wait until our boys are plugged into children's ministry activities at church and singing in the kids choir and so many other incredible opportunities for kids at our church. However, when we feel ready to bring the boys to church, we may just come to first service and go home. We aren't avoiding you and we aren't trying to keep you from meeting the boys, but we are trying to limit situations especially in the early days that will be over stimulating and confusing for the boys. Again, we will stick with the high fives, fist bumps and hand shakes for quite some time. We so look forward to our boys being loved on by so many of you in time but want to ensure this happens after they have bonded and attached well with us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To our incredible extended family and amazing group of friends, we are SO excited to see many of you at my sister's wedding and Lord willing, the boys will be home by that time. However, if they are home by then, it will not have been for long so we will be in the throws of bonding and attachment and learning what life looks like for us as a family of four. We have no idea what this day will look like, but even though we may have the boys with us, we will seek to keep things as simple as possible on that day. Please follow our lead on this day especially. Please do not take it as rude if we do not make the rounds at the reception to introduce them to all of you. Please do not take it as rude if the boys do not speak to you or smile at you. It will happen, with time. I know little things like taking them up to get another cupcake seems harmless and insignificant, but given the issues many adoptive children have with food, we ask that you not ask to get them more food or to "take them" anywhere on this day. Philip will most likely be hanging out with the boys and gets the duty of being "in charge" since I get the amazing privilege of being the maid of honor for my dear sister. So please, take cues from Philip. Stop by the table he is at with the boys and say hi. If Philip makes the decision to not bring the boys to the reception, please respect this decision.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok, last bit of "don'ts"... sorry that it seems like there are so many. As we begin to venture out and introduce the boys to more faces and places, we would ask that you keep your questions about the boys' background or adjustment to times you can ask one of us when they aren't around. I have said this entire journey that I am an open book. There really aren't any questions that I deem "too personal" for you to ask about me or our process. There are parts of their story before joining our family that we will keep private and allow the boys to decide when they are ready if they want to share that with others. But please don't be scared to ask us questions, "How's it going with bonding, attachment, sleeping, etc?" but be ready to hear the truth. :) Just ask when the boys aren't standing right there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We look forward to the boys getting to know and love all of you! We are so excited to see what the journey holds for us as a family of four. We cannot wait to do all the things "normal" families and kids do, but we know that it will take time before life looks and feels "normal" so please be patient with us and the boys. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"So, Holly, what can we do to help and support you?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks for asking and thanks to those of you who are still reading and aren't upset by anything I've said thus far.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are going to be brand new at this parenting thing so we are really shooting at a moving target and each day will be an experiment and a huge learning curve. Below is a list of simple ways to be involved in our initial days and weeks home with the boys...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) Bring by a simple meal (I'm sure there will be a meal sign up and I will post it on my Facebook for those interested.) Other adoptive moms have also suggested gift cards to restaurants/fast food places as well for quick easy dinners with no clean up. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2) Text us, email us, Facebook us, check in with us through whatever means you have.. though our lives will be very "isolated" initially from many of you, we do not want to be disconnected. If I don't answer when you call, leave a message. I will call or text back when there is a better time. To be honest, I may not answer the phone much as I do not want to spend precious minutes on the phone while the boys are at home. We also want to continue to hear about what is going on in your lives and would love to have conversations NOT always centered around adoption. :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) QuikTrip unsweetended iced tea (with crushed ice) for me or a black coffee from Starbucks for Philip... these are our caffeinated drinks of choice... We won't refuse one if you drop it by the house.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) For those of you with kiddos around the age of our boys, eventually we will be looking for some play dates in small settings so I would love to know if I can call you about meeting at the park or play place sometime.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5) Pray for us! This should really be first on the list, but I will end here. We cannot thank you enough for those of you who have been praying for and with us since the start of this journey 3.5 years ago. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanks for being in this with us!</span></div>
The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-42580225907241144952015-12-31T19:22:00.002-08:002015-12-31T19:22:28.108-08:00It is Well<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I sit here on this last night of 2015, there are many thoughts, words and emotions running through my mind to describe this year. If I'm honest, this year hasn't gone anything like I planned or hoped. To be completely honest, it is far from what I hoped.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recently, our missions pastor preached a short series on the book of Habakkuk. This was such a timely sermon series for me personally as it came during an extra hard month of waiting in the adoption process. If you've ever talked to anyone who has adopted, I know you have probably tired of hearing how the "waiting is so hard." But it is. Hard. Just really really hard. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Going through the short book of Habakkuk was refreshing to hear Habakkuk's real and honest dialog with the Lord as well as his questioning to the Lord. If I would have gotten nothing more from the sermon series, I was reminded of the ending of the book which we had read at our wedding nearly 10 years ago.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Habakkuk 3:17-19 "Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet... Yet... such a powerful conjunction! Sometimes as Christians, we let ourselves get consumed in all those phrases before the Yet. We wallow in the trials. We whine about our circumstances. We throw ourselves a pity party.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yet we forget all God has done. Yet we forget how he has ALWAYS been faithful to us in the past. Yet we not worship him for his work of salvation through Christ on the cross!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have not always rejoiced in 2015. I have not always been thankful. But the Lord is good and does not leave us or forsake us. He even sovereignly put me in a Bible study this fall on the book of James. Yes, that's right, James. The book of the Bible on Faith. The book that starts off with "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." That verse inspired the title of this blog. God was in every detail, big and small, of 2015.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ok... back to Habakkuk, in the last sermon of the series, the pastor shared a story of a man from our church who went through a battle with cancer and at the start of it in 2009 was given one year to live. He told our pastor "I'd go through it again because God taught me so much through it." Our pastor described it as a bold and quiet trust in God in the midst of calamity. Philip turned to me and said, "Would you do the three plus year adoption journey again for God to teach and grow you so much?" My response that Sunday was to ask me after the twins were home. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've recently thought a lot about how God called Abraham to go "to a land I will show you." Abraham packed up his family and left all that he knew, all that was comfortable, to follow the Lord into the unknown. I've pondered the thought of if I had known in September of 2012 that we would be entering 2016 and still not be done with this process, would we still have gone forward? In April, when we accepted the referral on the twins, what would I have said if I had known we wouldn't have even traveled for our first trip by the end of 2015??</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So often we long to see into the future, but God knows we aren't prepared to handle that knowledge. Thankfully we have the gift of hindsight and looking back. He shows me daily as I look back at this much longer than expected journey how every detail has been by his plan and in his time. He reminds me that none of it has surprised him or been outside of his control or will. I pray for eyes of faith to continue to see his hand guide us to the end of the adoption process and throughout the rest of our lives. He gets the glory of this adoption process. He is to be glorified through our lives. He guides us day by day, step by step, moment by moment. He calls us. He gives us grace upon grace. He bears our sorrows and feels our pain. He sees us crumpled to tears by yet another dose of bad news. He knows our fears of inadequacies to parent these two boys who he has given into our care. He knows!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we look forward to 2016, some of our toughest days may still be ahead. We know this journey God has called us to in which these twin boys will join our family will be difficult and rewarding, trying and awe-inspiring, full of tears and triumphs, but one thing is certain, the Lord will bring us through and refine us to be more like Him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We have much to be thankful for from the year 2015. As for our adoption process, there really is finally light at the end of the tunnel as the Lord saw it fit to move our case forward in December by issuing the unpredictable approval letter and a week later have our court date for January announced. We are finally on the last leg (well last two legs since we travel twice).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This past week a sweet refrain has been coming to mind as I've thought through the ending of a this year and the start of a new year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">when sorrows like sea billows roll; </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">It is well, it is well with my soul. </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">Refrain: </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">It is well with my soul, </span><br /><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">it is well, it is well with my soul</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">There have been days in recent months where the sorrow of this long journey has billowed over me; the sorrow of my heart to not have these boys home in my arms has overwhelmed me. There have been days where peace has washed over me that is unexplainable and surpasses all my earthly understanding. The quiet peace the Lord has given me within my soul has astounded me as I wouldn't describe myself as a peaceful and quiet person typically. I pray he continues to give us peace as we walk the road ahead.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">To my fellow adoptive moms and families still waiting for a referral or have lost a referral, still waiting for an approval letter, for a court date, for the light at the end of your tunnel, you have my daily prayers for God's comfort and peace to wash over you each day. As a dear adoptive mom put it, it will be a glorious unfolding as we see all that the Lord will do in our lives and in our children's lives. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fcfcfc;">For those still reading, thanks for journeying with us. Thanks for celebrating the good news and encouraging us through the tough days. Thanks for asking about the details. Thanks for not giving up and forgetting about us. </span></span>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-88817488715380781302015-10-27T14:19:00.000-07:002015-10-27T14:19:15.927-07:00Making Room for Two (Part 2)<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've often sat down to compose this blog post over the past few months, but the words just did not come. The timing didn't feel right. I mean if you write a part one blog post; there has to be a part two, right?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Making room for two.... little did we know when we started this journey that it would be two years, almost to the day that we would be on the wait list waiting to be matched with one child or two. We did not know we were "making room for two" years in our lives. We are making room in our home, in our lives and in our hearts for two little boys, but that isn't what this blog post is going to be about exactly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is a back story to these two years that we have sought to be careful in how we share because it is not entirely our story to share. I have struggled to know if we should share this openly on this blog. We do not share this to pat ourselves on the back or to try to draw attention to ourselves. We share this because of the lessons we have learned and seeing a small glimpse of God's purpose in our lives in a season of waiting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is hard to pinpoint exactly where this piece of our journey started, but I think that is how God works. He starts a new chapter in the story of our lives when we don't even realize it is happening. As a teacher in a large urban district, there are countless students who've sat in the desks of my classroom that impacted me more than my teaching impacted them. This is one of those cases.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A young man walked into my classroom for the first time in January of 2011. His class schedule had switched around due to seniors being able to take a reduced class load in their second semester so he was placed in my Algebra 2 class to accommodate other course changes. I knew of this young man previously because he was on the basketball team. I had kept the scorebook for the basketball team and my husband announced during the games. I did not know much of his story prior to this semester; only that he was a fairly quiet kid who loved to play basketball. Being a tom boy growing up, I enjoyed talking sports with the student athletes in my class so though I did not get much conversation out of him, the little we did talk was about the basketball team or how a particular game had gone, etc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A few other situations came up through his last semester of high school in which I learned a bit more of his story and was able to help him out in a few very small ways. He was a kid who did not ask for help very often because he had pretty much relied on only himself for much of his life. Thanks to his HS assistant basketball coach, he was offered a scholarship to play basketball at a community college in western Kansas. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We kept up with how he was doing and how his basketball team was doing through his freshman year of college. We were able to go see several games that year and even watched his team play in the national junior college tournament. He was having great success on the team and was getting honors for his success even just as a freshman. We continued to follow him through his sophomore year as well. Due to a job relocation, his uncle who he had lived with growing up, moved out of state during his sophomore year of college. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As I mentioned previously, he is a very quiet kid. We kept in touch with him but usually didn't get a lot of response back. We had offered that if he ever needed help with anything that he just needed to let us know. He always said thanks, but we really never expected him to take us up on the offer until he called me in December of his sophomore year. His ride home for Christmas break had fallen through so he was asking if we could come pick him up which we did and later took him back after Christmas as college basketball players get very little time off around the holidays. After his teams' season ended earlier than they hoped, he and a teammate stayed with us for their spring break. Both had hopes and plans to play at a Division I school after they graduated from the junior college later that spring.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On April 19, 2013, he and the same teammate signed to play basketball at Sam Houston State University in Huntsville, TX. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Side note about the timing God planned in all of this: our dossier got to Ethiopia on April 22, 2013 which was the start of our official wait on "the list" to receive an adoption referral.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The two years that followed while we waited on the adoption wait list involved us making many trips to TX. We were able to see him play in quite a few games in his two years on the team. He stayed with us for the summers in between and at Christmas time as well. We made the trip down for his last game on their home court for his senior night and got to walk with him and some of his family when he was honored. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our favorite memories were going to their conference tournament both years in Katy, TX in which they played in the championship game both years; falling short of making it to the NCAA tournament both years unfortunately. Through his two years on the team, we got to know the coaching staff very well and are so grateful for their investment in him and including us in their program as well even though we are not technically his family. (Seriously, they truly went above and beyond the call of duty. I could go on and on about this, but that isn't the point of this post.) He received honors for his success on the team as well and finished his time there with hopes of playing professionally.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He came back to stay with us for the summer while he finished up one online class this summer. We made the trip back to Huntsville for one last time for his graduation on August 8. His journey was unsure for a bit as to if an opportunity to play basketball would actually work out, but just a little over a week ago, I took him to the airport and he is now in the country of Georgia where he signed to play basketball in a professional league there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I often have said had the adoption process moved quicker, we would have not been able to be as involved in his life as we were able to. Is this why our adoption process went slowly? We will never know for sure, but we do know that for this season of waiting, God had a purpose we would have never planned for or seen on our own. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The lessons we learned in these few years of walking beside him in his collegiate basketball journey and pursuing professional basketball are hard to fully verbalize. One thing I know for certain is that when we get out of the way and allow God to use us as he would choose, the journey he will take us on is far greater than what we could imagine. He is now half a world away pursuing his dreams of playing basketball professionally and we are slowly, but surely, getting closer to bringing the twins home. Though he will never officially or legally be related to us, we consider him as close as family and know in some way, shape or form, we will stay connected with him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My sister's mantra is "it is a privilege to be involved in the lives of people." It truly has been a privilege for us to be involved in this young man's life. I think it is in our human nature to hold back and to not get involved because people's lives our messy and it might require too much of our hearts and lives to get involved. In this case, it wasn't always easy nor was it convenient, but the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience. We did not always know where the path was going to lead and looking back there are possibly some things we would have done differently. The selfish instincts in us said to hold back and to not be involved, but thankfully, God nudged us just enough to walk this path. It would have been easy to say we couldn't get involved because our season of life would be changing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, the seasons do change, but one of the biggest lessons I have learned in this entire adoption process is that we miss out on the beauty and the opportunity of the season we are in now if we are always looking forward to the next season. The Bible is filled with stories of waiting, but it is filled with stories of the way God worked mightily in these people's lives who were waiting for the next season. He uses waiting, even though our impatient hearts long for the waiting to end. There is purpose in the waiting. In our case, God gave us a glimpse of one small purpose of our waiting in this adoption process. Sometimes we don't get that glimpse until well after the fact. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Right now, we find ourselves in yet another season of waiting that is lasting much longer than we anticipated. Do we trust God in this time of waiting? Do we trust that his timing and his plan are perfect? We have seen time and time again in this entire journey that his plan is good and perfect, but it is so easily to forget and to want things NOW. Would you continue to pray for us that we would seek God's wisdom in this time?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are so grateful for such a large support system. We would not have been able to walk this journey without your love, support, encouragement and prayers!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Grateful for you all!</span><br />
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<br />The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-7136937602378051402015-06-04T18:46:00.000-07:002015-06-24T09:46:40.269-07:00Making Room for Two (Part 1)This blog post is long overdue and may get kind of long so be warned. It may actually come in multiple parts also. I'm attempting to fill in the details that many people have asked about so if you aren't a detail person, you might get overwhelmed!<br>
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The Phone Call<br>
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On Friday April 17, I was out of school for our conference release day. Philip had gone to Hiawatha to visit his family so I went to see a movie with my sister and another friend. As I was almost to my car after the movie was over, I realized that I had something in my purse to give my sister so I turned to head back to find them. As I was heading back, my phone rang.<br>
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It was not a number saved in my phone but showed up as an Alabama number. My heart leapt because any call from an Alabama number usually is from our adoption agency. (I had just emailed some with our caseworker a week earlier and all my previous questions had been answered so I knew she wasn't calling to follow up on anything else.) I answered and it was our caseworker. She first asked if I was with Philip and after telling her I wasn't, she proceeded to say the words we had waited two years to hear. She asked if we wanted more information about twin boys.<br>
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She continued talking which was good since I don't think I could have responded immediately. By this point I had wandered back to the theater and found my sister. She immediately knew I was acting weird. I called Philip and told him about the call. My sister and friend began freaking out at the news they were hearing as I explained it to Philip. Philip and I agreed to view the file. Later, I called back our caseworker to tell her we wanted to view the file so she conferenced Philip in on the call as well. (Isn't technology grand?)<br>
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The timing has been pretty amazing in this entire journey (more on that later), but we laugh about the fact that we got the long awaited phone call on the one weekend of the whole year that Philip and I weren't together. This, of course, was all in God's good and perfect timing. Yes, this was a decision we needed to make together, but the time apart was actually really beneficial for us to individually process and digest the information about the boys and the impact saying "yes" would have on our lives. Philip called Saturday as he was driving back to Wichita and as he began sharing his thoughts, tears began to stream down my face because he was saying and expressing everything I was thinking and feeling as well. We serve an amazing God who planned this all down to the exact timing of the phone call. Each and every intricate detail in this journey has been according to his plan. Throughout this process, one of my prayers was that we would know confidently know when to say yes when we finally got the phone call. He more than answered this for both Philip and I and we emailed our agency on Sunday that we would wanted to move forward to adopt the boys.<br>
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<br>Now to back up a few weeks... As many of you know, each month our agency emailed out our wait list number. We got our first numbers May 1, 2013 and our last wait list email came on April 1st though at the time we didn't know it would be the last one. Being a numbers nerd, it was kind of cool to me that we got the call 24 months after we were on the wait list. Our dossier arrived in Ethiopia on April 22, 2013 and we got the call April 17, 2015; just five days short of exactly two years! Again, God's timing and purpose in this process has humbled and amazed us. </div><div><br></div><div>Ok, sorry for the numbers rabbit trail... We knew from talking via Facebook with other families from our agency that we could potentially be close to getting a call as many families on the list ahead of us were gender specific for girls only or were on pause for other major family changes (birth of a child, move, etc). Even though our number was still a ways from the top, we felt confident that the adoption would finalize sometime next school year, so the week after Spring break, I met with my principal and submitted my letter of resignation to not return to teaching after the current school year was over and stay home next school year. </div><div><br></div><div>Looking back, some people probably thought I was off my rocker to resign to stay home with kids that we didn't have yet and haven't even been matched with. God gave us a peace that surpassed even our own understanding! And 24 days later, when the call came, we again saw God's purpose and plan come together. <br>
<br></div><div>The verse that God kept bringing to mind throughout this time was Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I will blog more about this verse in a later post. Thanks for reading this (if you made it to the end) and being such an encouragement to us in this journey. We count it a joy to share with you all!</div>
The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-17056408165646135252015-03-29T20:12:00.001-07:002015-03-29T20:12:38.071-07:00Jumping Off the LadderI guess you could say I started climbing the ladder about nine years ago as I interviewed and accepted my first teaching job in the spring of 2006 while in my last semester at K-State while student teaching.<div><br></div><div>To be honest, nine years ago I didn't expect to climb as high or as long as I did on the ladder. I fully expected I would work two to four years before we started a family. </div><div><br></div><div>But let's be brutally honest, there is quite a list of things I did not plan for or expect in the last nine years. That is a whole other post all together. :)</div><div><br></div><div>This is about jumping off the ladder. I planned to climb it slow and steady. At times I did and at other times I raced. But now I'm getting off this ladder, the career ladder. </div><div><br></div><div>Last Tuesday I met with my principal to submit my letter of resignation to not continue teaching at the conclusion of this school year. Thankfully, this news was well received by her and those we have shared the news with.</div><div><br></div><div>If you know me well, you know this is not a decision we have made lightly, but we have peace that this is what God wants for us, for me, at this point. </div><div><br></div><div>As most of you know, our adoption journey has been long and bumpy at times but based on recent movement, we feel confident to take this step as with teaching, you don't just turn in a 2 weeks notice. :)</div><div><br></div><div>I am not sure that it has fully sunk in that I'm off the ladder; that the next 8 weeks are the end of this part of my career. Maybe it will fully hit in May. Maybe not until August. But I confidentially know that the season of these nine years of teaching have shaped and formed me for the seasons ahead. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-24732370862726641732014-12-15T09:41:00.001-08:002014-12-15T09:41:50.611-08:00The Bumpy Ride (at times)Time has really flown by since the last time I updated the blog. I've been writing and rewriting this post many times over the past few months, especially in November, but never felt ready to put "pencil to paper" as they say or fingers to the keyboard in this case. :)<br />
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Let me start first with a disclaimer... I often worry that people are going to get sick of hearing about our adoption details or give up on us that it is ever going to happen (please feel absolutely no pressure to continue reading; this is going to be a long one). Now, don't get me wrong. No one has responded in this way at all, but it is just something that floats around in my head. When we applied to start the adoption process with Lifeline, it was early September 2012. Though much has happened in the 2+ years since that time on one hand, little has changed on the other.<br />
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Ok.. disclaimer out of the way... Philip sent me <a href="http://www.sbts.edu/blogs/2014/11/21/our-paper-pregnancy-god-the-gospel-and-the-global-cause-of-christ/" target="_blank"><b>this blog post</b></a> on November 21 that very accurately describes the adoption journey as a "paper pregnancy." The author also does a really good job in verbalizing why Christians are involved in adoption (it is a great read!).<br />
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This blog post came at just the right time for me.<br />
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In early October, we got a very informative update on the status of adoptions in Ethiopia and our agencies plans moving forward with their Ethiopia adoption program. A few weeks after this update, we got an additional email updating us on the change of costs for the Ethiopia program. This change, though not entirely a shock given the additional time children are staying in the orphanage, was quite a significant increase. As a person who thinks and deals in numbers all the time, this made my mind begin to swim thinking and calculating what would need to happen for our savings to reach this number.<br />
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On November 3rd, we started the 10 week class to become licensed for foster care. We are still not quite sure where this journey will lead us, but are moving forward to go ahead and get licensed when we finish the class and then at that point evaluate where things are at in the Ethiopia process. <br />
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Early in November, we received an email sent out to all families in our agency about twin boys available for adoption from another country program. The email gave very few details and stated you could call for more information. I spoke with the other country program director. She gave me as many details as she could over the phone and offered for us to view the file that included detailed medical records, videos, pictures, etc. As Philip and I discussed the possibility and asked some close friends and family to pray for wisdom and discernment, we decided not to move forward and view the file. I knew that it would be very difficult to see the boys and then say no. There were some pieces in their medical information we did not have the peace to say "Yes". We know God knows the right forever family for these twin boys even if we are not that match.<br />
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Somewhere in the middle of this, I contacted a friend who runs a shop of handmade and vintage items for sale one weekend a month. I talked to her about making and selling scarves and holiday bunting at the sale in November to put the money made toward our adoption fees. She graciously gave me the opportunity. I sewed around the clock leading up to the November sale which went very well. I was humbled and overwhelmed by the friends and family who went out to specifically buy items I had made to help us out. Then I began sewing some more to get a head start for the December sale.<br />
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As I posted pictures of the finished scarves on Facebook, friends, family and friends of friends and family began contacting me to order scarves. I would barely get some scarves sewn and post pictures and within days or even hours at times, the scarves would all be sold. I have shipped scarves from Utah to Ohio and Iowa to Oklahoma as well as many all around the state of Kansas. I basically was down in the basement sewing during any free time I had in the evenings or on weekends for the past 3-4 weeks. It was a good problem to have. :) The Facebook orders kept coming as the weekend for the sale at the shop got closer, but thankfully, I was able to get enough inventory done for an even more successful sale at the shop this past weekend.<br />
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Who knew that scarves would be such a hit? God did. Who knew that some ladies who could easily sew their own scarves would still order because they wanted to support our adoption? God did. Who knew the generosity of so many to pay above and beyond the actual amount of the scarves and leave a note "put the extra toward your adoption"? God did. Who knew that we would find out about the raise in costs right before weather turned cold and people began shopping for scarves for the cold weather and for Christmas gifts? God did.<br />
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Oh and I have almost forgot the best part of the last month... for the last week and a half of November, there was regular posts on our agencies Facebook page of families being matched with children. It was a flood of good news on a daily basis and even some days where we found out about multiple matches which means movement on the list for those of us yet to be matched! December 1st when the monthly email came with the update of our wait list number, we knew for the first time in months, it was going to be a big jump!<br />
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We know not every month is going to be like November.<br />
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Every month will hopefully not be such a roller coaster of emotions.<br />
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Every month unfortunately will not be as much movement on the list.<br />
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But every month, God will be present with us through the journey.The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-82760078436413002792014-06-24T15:20:00.000-07:002014-06-24T15:20:07.560-07:00A Great EightWhat a great eight years of marriage so far! Not to sound cliche, but time has most definitely flown by.<br />
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The Great Eight... some of my favorite memories so far! (In no particular order other than as I found the photos for each one!)<br />
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1.) Spending our first anniversary in Nigeria. This was such a sweet time of reconnecting with friends I had met on my first trip to Nigeria in 2005 as well as Philip getting to meet them all. We got to help with their collegiate Nav ministry there and work with an after school program. I left some of my heart in Nigeria in 2005 and just left a bigger part in 2007.<br />
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2.) Getting to go to the Desiring God conference for a second time FOR FREE! It was a short trip, but getting to go and do something entirely for free was nice and relaxing. Philip won the trip by entering for a free trip off a blog he follows. Luck is never on my side, but it was for him that day! Photo is of Philip at the bookstore at the conference. Can we just say kid in a candy store? :)<br />
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3.) We have gotten to see some pretty exciting sporting events in our 8 years, but I would say my favorite by far have been going to see some of my former students high school students play at the next level. First picture below is see Kaheem Ransom play for Sam Houston State in the Southland Conference tournament this past spring. Second picture is with Joseph Randle after a thrilling game between Oklahoma State and K-State at OSU. Joseph now plays for the best team in the NFL! Go Cowboys.<br />
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4.) We really don't vacation much, but we did go to Colorado for a week and got to revisit where we spent a summer in college for a Nav summer training program as well as do some camping and hiking. Colorado is so beautiful and I would go every summer if given the chance. Maybe we can retire there! ;)<br />
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5.) In the winter of 2009, we remodeled our kitchen which happened to fall right after I messed up my left index finger playing basketball. Both instances caused plenty of laughter and a few tears on my part, but both were learning and growing experiences in our relationship. Philip even learned how to help me put my hair in pony tail while my left hand was out of commission. The kitchen remodel would not have been possible without the help of my dad. First picture is one of my favorites during the remodel and second is of the contraption my hand was in for about 4 weeks. Don't worry I didn't post the picture before surgery and stitches.<br />
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6.) One thing I never thought we would do is get a dog and I definitely never thought we would have a dog before we had kids, but it is funny how things work out. We have had Lucy for just over a year. Granted we do not consider it the same as having kids, but she has definitely taught us a lot about what parenting might be like as well as shown us a small glimpse into the kind of parents we might be. Overall, she has been a good addition to the Linden residence even in spite of all the hair that is shed and the floor constantly being covered in doggie footprints. Below are a few of my favorite pics of the furry chocolate lab that may sometimes be referred to as "the fart face" in our house! Believe it or not she is bigger now then she was in these pictures.<br />
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7.) Three different times we have spent a week down in OKC attending the WCWS. Hopefully if you know me well you know what the acronym means! It is hot. We sweat a lot and usually get a little sun burned, but we see a lot of good softball, eat some good food (including a few snow cones to stay cool) and try to avoid major Oklahoma tornadoes while we are there. Good thing Philip enjoys college softball as much as I do!<br />
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8.) Adoption. The process. The paperwork. More paperwork. The waiting. Saving money. Planning. Dreaming. More waiting. All of it. It hasn't always been an easy road, but it is a journey of lessons learned and reminders of God's provision, faithfulness and sovereignty. I could not think of anyone else I would rather be on this adoption journey with than my best friend. Sometimes people ask us if it works with us both being teachers and spending so much time together in the summer. We just look at each other and grin. We love hanging out and being together. We are in it for the long haul!<br />
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The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-43064390037923500252014-04-28T19:04:00.000-07:002014-04-28T19:04:05.787-07:00Each MonthAnticipation.<br />
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Each month sometime on or after the 1st, we get an email from our adoption agency which updates us on our current number on the wait list. Each month I check my email far to many times on this day. Each month we hope and pray for movement. Each month we hope to get to share positive news of movement in our adoption process.<br />
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Each month... each month... each. month.<br />
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To be perfectly honest, when we started this process my lofty goal was that by this time we would have received our referral and be home with our child(ren) by my 30th birthday on August 9th of this year. This timeline was mine. This timeline was selfish. This timeline was not God's.<br />
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As many of you know, movement on the wait list since last August has been a snails pace. There is a long explanation as to why the significant slow down to nearly a halt. The simple abridged version is that the government in Ethiopia refined and changed the process for children to be referred to inter-country adoption. I compare this to when the IRS makes changes to tax law, the following year tax returns are processed more slowly. However, we are tentatively optimistic that positive movement is coming in the months ahead.<br />
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Throughout this wait, I have thought of the examples we are given in scripture for waiting on the Lord's timing. Abraham and Sarah waiting for a child. Moses waiting to go into the Promised Land. Paul waiting for his sight to be restored. Mary and Martha waiting for Lazarus to be healed (resurrected). Just to name a few...<br />
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I have also read a few articles and blog posts on waiting. This really are worth the read. Honestly worth more than reading this blog post. :)<br />
<a href="http://daveainsworth.com/blog/2014/2/10/waiting-is-not-nothing" target="_blank">"No One Prepared Me for This"</a><br />
<a href="http://paultripp.com/articles/posts/tired-of-waiting-1" target="_blank">"Tired of Waiting Part 1" - Paul Tripp</a><br />
<a href="http://paultripp.com/articles/posts/tired-of-waiting-2" target="_blank">"Tired of Waiting Part 2"- Paul Tripp</a><br />
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These articles/blogs do a much better job at articulating the struggle in the wait as well as the value of the wait. It did make me think of how much of our life we spend waiting.<br />
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Waiting to start school. Waiting to be 16 and drive. Waiting to get the college acceptance letter. Waiting to start college. Waiting for that guy/girl to notice you. Waiting to get married. Waiting for the phone call that you landed the job. Waiting for the first real paycheck. Waiting for your doctor's office. Waiting for your plane to land. Waiting to leave on vacation. Waiting for Christmas. Waiting for water to boil. Waiting for food to cook. Waiting for a wound to heal. Waiting for spring. Waiting for your milestone birthday. Waiting on the phone on hold. Waiting to get the email. Waiting for the news, good or bad. Waiting to get pregnant. Waiting for children. Waiting to get promoted. Waiting for the referral. Waiting to travel. Waiting to bring them home. Waiting until we see Jesus. Waiting to be home in glory. Waiting.<br />
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Being the type-A doer that I am waiting is not my most favorite activity. (Is it anyone's favorite activity though?) However, as tough as it has been at times and as tough as it has been to remain positive and hopeful that this process will result in the beginning of a family, I have learned the hard lesson that (as the blog above articulates) "waiting is not nothing." And it will be worth the wait. As much as I have struggled to want to do something to speed up the wait, God has continually reminded me that he is in control. He is sovereign and his timing is not my timing. His plans are not my plans. His are best. His are perfect. I am His. Our future adopted child is His and he cares far more than I ever could for the orphan(s) who will one day be Ingrams. He is the father to the fatherless. <br />
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Sometimes I question. Sometimes I complain. Sometimes I want to throw in the towel.<br />
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He is always faithful. He is on his throne. He is the ruler of the universe. He knows the day and time our referral will come. He knows the day and time he will call each of us home.<br />
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I was reminded of that last fact recently by the death of my high school volleyball coach. She battled cancer twice. She spent her last weeks at home with her family. She told her family she had nothing to be afraid of in dying. She knew where her eternity would be spent. This world is not our home. These bodies are not our eternal bodies. Do we wait with the same eager anticipation when we will be joined for eternity with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the same way we wait for our favorite TV show to come on or to see our favorite sports team play?<br />
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Do I eagerly anticipate my reunion with my heavenly father who adopted me into his family as heirs with Christ the same way I anticipate being joined with my adopted child and bringing them home? God has not allowed me to spend many days on this adoption journey without reminding me of his Gospel through which he adopted me into his family.<br />
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He has much bigger plans for me through this adoption process than I have for myself.<br />
The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-16213840217078700412014-02-06T18:40:00.000-08:002014-02-06T18:40:03.431-08:00Clean SheetsThere is something really special about climbing into bed the night after you have washed your sheets on your bed. If you disagree with me, well... hmm... I can't think of why anyone would not love climbing into a bed with freshly cleaned sheets.<br />
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At church, we are going through the book of 1 John in a sermon series titled, "Are you Really a Christian?" The title alone is enough to get you to sit up straight and pay attention. A few weeks ago the sermon was on confession of sin and that one of the "tests" of a true believer is a regular confession and turning from sin.<br />
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"If we deny our sin, we mock the most important work of God on the cross." As the pastor said this that morning, it really struck me and I have come back to it often in the past few weeks.<br />
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So Holly... why is the blog post titled "Clean Sheets"?<br />
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Good question... that same weekend about confession of sin, we washed the sheets on our bed. Yes, there is more than a timing coincidence.<br />
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As I went to bed, the reality of what work was done on the cross sank in deeply to my heart.<br />
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Clean sheets.<br />
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His work on the cross 2000+ years ago cleanses me from all unrighteousness. He died for ALL sin... past, present and future. He died for my sin. He died for your sin. He died for THAT sin that no one speaks about in the church. He died for all the unspeakable acts that humanity has done in all history. He died for that rude comment you made today. He died for the jealousy you feel around that friend. He died the angry look toward your colleague. He died. Once. For all.<br />
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There is a comfortable embrace when you climb into bed with freshly cleaned sheets. There is an embrace that awaits as we accept the forgiveness he offers us on the cross.<br />
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Our legalistic society wants us to focus on the good works we do or the bad works we need to improve on. Christ calls us to understand the ONE saving work he did on the cross. He does not have to die daily on the cross for our daily sins. It was a payment, a ransom... to satisfy our just God that is good for all time... for each of us. Yes, we must be daily confessing our sins... specifically. But, we can live in the knowledge knowing that sin is forgiven, paid for, washed clean.<br />
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We cannot pay the debt. We cannot work enough to get there. We cannot get our act cleaned up enough. <br />
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The really crazy part of it all is that as we allow ourselves to understand our identity in Christ as a forgiven and adopted child of God we can live with freedom to experience the sanctification and transforming power of the Gospel daily in our lives.<br />
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As Josh says, the already, not yet... we are already saved, but we are not yet fully saved from our sinful earthly bodies. We are already made right before God, but we are not yet living in eternity with God.<br />
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I'm pretty sure that clean sheets will be the only kind of sheets in heaven!The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-67966759303244433842013-11-19T18:36:00.001-08:002013-11-19T18:36:21.722-08:00November 19: I'm thankful for fresh pineapple!I know... This one seems kind of silly and insignificant compared to most things I have posted this month. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Xxe9pLtPEvh3gBKSIcptxTZ_VfqjnCkI7nosW8wDaJXuDrfNWOI3wUkumyALnmangRH5lMM8y7kVHPQm1PKfSFDG_LL0u1BpIGAbjvULEqnvFf4YJTMllZ95R483OpyP-IbAXop8JwE/s640/blogger-image--1563966729.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_Xxe9pLtPEvh3gBKSIcptxTZ_VfqjnCkI7nosW8wDaJXuDrfNWOI3wUkumyALnmangRH5lMM8y7kVHPQm1PKfSFDG_LL0u1BpIGAbjvULEqnvFf4YJTMllZ95R483OpyP-IbAXop8JwE/s640/blogger-image--1563966729.jpg"></a></div><br><div><br></div><div>But one thing I have learned is to be thankful for the big and small things. Fresh pineapple is a small thing but it reminds me of big things. </div></div><div><br></div><div>It reminds me of when I first truly fell in love with pineapple. My first trip to Nigeria in 2005... When I first fell in love with the Nigerian people. So many fond memories from my time there in 2005 and again in 2007. I told Okike, the missionary there, that fresh pineapple needed to be the 6th love language. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-79180376555099099442013-11-19T18:29:00.001-08:002013-11-19T18:29:07.096-08:00November 18: I'm thankful for simple reminders, simple truth!Yesterday was not the day I would win best teacher for. It was not the day I want to remember for long. It was just not the day any teacher wants to have. It was not horrible. It was not the worst day I ever had, but it was far from the best. <div><br></div><div>I was grumbling and complaining. I was feeling crummy and not liking my job. I came across this on Instagram. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDMBTSOpiSCQZf5D9jbz6fwSh09YQJA-Su3Z9EMyQaF8kRUOHigVNnnlaq9YPkrUuMJXkZeWJ4kaTjs7jWejjmEk39CArIzvYCMHv02oZmDD-Ba4nhEguiNUv5mpXHykNfGM8vGVMgo1w/s640/blogger-image-428502734.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDMBTSOpiSCQZf5D9jbz6fwSh09YQJA-Su3Z9EMyQaF8kRUOHigVNnnlaq9YPkrUuMJXkZeWJ4kaTjs7jWejjmEk39CArIzvYCMHv02oZmDD-Ba4nhEguiNUv5mpXHykNfGM8vGVMgo1w/s640/blogger-image-428502734.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This was the truth I needed yesterday. My job is a blessing even when it stinks because I need God to do it! I fail when I try to do it on my own and in my own strength. Truth. Hard truth at times. Needed truth at that very moment in time. Thanks Emily Jensen for posting it! </div><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-53302888623329001212013-11-19T17:59:00.001-08:002013-11-19T17:59:26.972-08:00November 17: I'm thankful Mandy's house sold!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipRLL8j9NxBCYW0dcoDoM_KGHHQq1SBtyDmkipeVJwsbvT9iCaem2xbvBTZuQwSJrr6eFZOPF58yfsiMr0eeNihs4-NVtP5xAqbccT60BUIdUxlBMzDxrBaw6FZv0ibTV_MEmqJG-K1Ls/s640/blogger-image-1218544352.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipRLL8j9NxBCYW0dcoDoM_KGHHQq1SBtyDmkipeVJwsbvT9iCaem2xbvBTZuQwSJrr6eFZOPF58yfsiMr0eeNihs4-NVtP5xAqbccT60BUIdUxlBMzDxrBaw6FZv0ibTV_MEmqJG-K1Ls/s640/blogger-image-1218544352.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This picture was taken the day Mandy and I went to close on her house when she bought it. This Friday I will go to sign the papers on the closing for the sell of her house. Lots of good memories and laughs were had here, but now that Mandy is living in India it is a blessing that her house has sold. Sunday we went and got the final things out of her house. It is crazy how quickly time flies. It seems like we were just there scrapping wall paper and painting all the walls. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-3585110243977375152013-11-19T17:48:00.001-08:002013-11-19T17:48:03.149-08:00November 16: I'm thankful for seeing former students.I was out doing some errands on Saturday and meeting a friend at Panera. This happens often when I am out and about, but I was blessed to see 3 former students. Two young ladies were having lunch at Panera. It was a surprise to see them and a joy as well. They were happy to see me and said they missed me. It is good to know you are missed... You know? I ran into another student at Lowes while he was shopping with his family. He greeted me with a hug. It was good to hear briefly how college was going for him. <div><br></div><div>I'm grateful to know these young people and to have played a small role in their lives. It is such an encouragement each time I run into them!</div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgID0mcPcMpkuEQQFlZlmyG2hm5k7_ZGtG5y_VCJjWGUKld8HoAgTbvbonXdU272m5CAXa91ZOKivH1IGaamgJKtShog7OHYyYsfUU9APNE_MiWCmT555HG_8YNUROkaEbqwSoTHaPJs3U/s640/blogger-image--777563554.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgID0mcPcMpkuEQQFlZlmyG2hm5k7_ZGtG5y_VCJjWGUKld8HoAgTbvbonXdU272m5CAXa91ZOKivH1IGaamgJKtShog7OHYyYsfUU9APNE_MiWCmT555HG_8YNUROkaEbqwSoTHaPJs3U/s640/blogger-image--777563554.jpg"></a></div><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-34315840421467590552013-11-19T17:38:00.001-08:002013-11-19T17:39:30.591-08:00November 15: I'm thankful for my sister!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAVpaWQUP1JAl8pt-HPF9fJ6GADM2MwKycqTYhBuyWYKv0uqv8se4CKT_IvomMJrXcbDMlBoiZIXU0UAfMVu5oqeT54G49U_AUDC_p2B-Bh2-jUSZMv_R0njky9ADnUEa1dITPkd1MYys/s640/blogger-image--1520306.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAVpaWQUP1JAl8pt-HPF9fJ6GADM2MwKycqTYhBuyWYKv0uqv8se4CKT_IvomMJrXcbDMlBoiZIXU0UAfMVu5oqeT54G49U_AUDC_p2B-Bh2-jUSZMv_R0njky9ADnUEa1dITPkd1MYys/s640/blogger-image--1520306.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This blog post could be one of the longest I write but a lot of what I'm thankful for about my sister is summed up well in these pictures. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">She would kill me if I told the whole story beind them. We will keep that between her and I but here is why I depict why I'm most thankful for her...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">1.) She knows how to know, love and care for people well. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">2.) She can make me laugh and help me see another side of a situation if wouldn't consider. (Can you guess which pic this mighty refer to??)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">3.) She and I got to work together for 7 years, just one hallway away from each other. We had many laughs, cries and vent sessions about our job but it was a great 7 years to work so closely together. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I could say so much more but simply stated she is my sister. She knows me better than most. She is one of my best friends. She will be around for the long haul. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-59612704920112592572013-11-19T17:12:00.001-08:002013-11-19T17:12:37.161-08:00November 14: I'm thankful for good vision!In January of 2005, my parents blessed me by paying for LASIK eye surgery. I have never regretted getting it done. I have seen 20/20 since then. No contacts. No glasses. <div><br></div><div>In Thursday, actually on November 24, I went for my yearly eye check. My eye doctor asks each time, "Are you still glad you did it?" Each time I reply, "Yep!"</div><div><br></div><div>The cool part about this yearly appointment is that my eye doctor goes to the same church and I had one of his sons in math at Southeast so we always spend more time catching up and talking about school, Kstate, etc. This year we chatted about his oldest son's recent engagement to another former student of mine. I love the small world I live in!</div><div><br></div><div>This hymn is a reminder of the vision that The Lord needs to be in my life. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuy39MVJmk9hh7tpFXtPkSDaUT3DQ_HorC0C47vlbI-HPdpkFowJkon1SYvmFeQWdPvy34cv6T4VJfDqMzIlHQ0C5txut1bXGl_YC7jQxAyPrj9wf56qvymHqp9Xt5r0xuY8vB5ZVctbk/s640/blogger-image-1821838233.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuy39MVJmk9hh7tpFXtPkSDaUT3DQ_HorC0C47vlbI-HPdpkFowJkon1SYvmFeQWdPvy34cv6T4VJfDqMzIlHQ0C5txut1bXGl_YC7jQxAyPrj9wf56qvymHqp9Xt5r0xuY8vB5ZVctbk/s640/blogger-image-1821838233.jpg"></a></div><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-56164649914816915932013-11-13T17:30:00.001-08:002013-11-13T17:30:37.255-08:00November 13: I'm thankful for hymns of truth!I grew up singing hymns. They speak so much truth. <div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAbJtN-6ltVGhQd_5D6fOc0f88Lvz7nFdxy_eB6BpB2aIgOwkvHD4SPauaT2nqK02FFUlgYippKdyKw9s95Jep0I2JudnGxi6KK9j9KCjh4PViAc1enyK0l3UMo40INaDbWwBiBE0JV-I/s640/blogger-image--1516960805.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAbJtN-6ltVGhQd_5D6fOc0f88Lvz7nFdxy_eB6BpB2aIgOwkvHD4SPauaT2nqK02FFUlgYippKdyKw9s95Jep0I2JudnGxi6KK9j9KCjh4PViAc1enyK0l3UMo40INaDbWwBiBE0JV-I/s640/blogger-image--1516960805.jpg"></a></div><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-19643954369816981602013-11-13T15:26:00.001-08:002013-11-13T15:26:49.095-08:00November 12: I'm thankful for my parents!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQRvvEZ1NDy8_opumgQX8dczvg8rN_JY9-zQJqAzNa0kFaY36vM01Ru4TcWc7yd1M0FpajZVcp3ekJWAPFoWV6o2_kDGAexQu6TS19_Tbe1F2BJFkZ7qdcHotPPE4Mug0S4zFXSFnPjs/s640/blogger-image-1775924062.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBQRvvEZ1NDy8_opumgQX8dczvg8rN_JY9-zQJqAzNa0kFaY36vM01Ru4TcWc7yd1M0FpajZVcp3ekJWAPFoWV6o2_kDGAexQu6TS19_Tbe1F2BJFkZ7qdcHotPPE4Mug0S4zFXSFnPjs/s640/blogger-image-1775924062.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I've come to realize in recent years my upbringing was far from status quo. Though as I grew up, I didn't know this. I didn't know that families didn't all eat homemade meals together with the TV off. I didn't know that all families didn't all go to church together every Sunday. I didn't know that parents didn't go to all their kids games, programs, events, etc. I didn't know that all families didn't pray together. I didn't know that all kids weren't raised to work hard regardless of the praise they may or may not receive. I didn't know that all kids weren't in more trouble at home when they got in trouble at school. I didn't know that all kids weren't expected to get good grades and get to college. I didn't know that all families do not have two hard working, college educated parents. I didn't know that some people never made food from scratch. I didn't know that some people hired someone else to fix their cars, repair their house, or now their yard. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The list could go on and on. But I do know how privileged and blessed I am to have been given these parents. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-28378485912848511832013-11-13T15:14:00.001-08:002013-11-13T15:14:44.188-08:00November 11: I'm thankful for their service!I'm a few days late as usual, but I'm grateful for the men and women who have given their time, service and many their lives for the freedoms I enjoy in this great country. <div><br></div><div>It saddens my heart to see so many take the sacrifice of our veterans for granted. I'm privileged that both my grandpas served our country in the military and lived to tell about it. It was one of the things my late Grandpa Call talked about most frequently. Luckily before he passed, my dad and him got to go to Washington DC on a honor flight for WWII vets to see the memorial there. </div><div><br></div><div>This picture is of a veteran I get to work with everyday! He is one of the best bosses I have! I'm grateful for his military service and that he is my "battle buddy" in the public schools. </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg63cHmjfZVhm1TJW7PrM8miub57H3vjseQu8rEGOr5dGaCUgUROvrZqtRZ3PZKq66VrovkbaI2cIeGDN8xd9oOdRlM47i919_JQRkWlttESMdargqz7egTKsyuUnnOrENxxCqllfTFQs/s640/blogger-image-1133839931.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgg63cHmjfZVhm1TJW7PrM8miub57H3vjseQu8rEGOr5dGaCUgUROvrZqtRZ3PZKq66VrovkbaI2cIeGDN8xd9oOdRlM47i919_JQRkWlttESMdargqz7egTKsyuUnnOrENxxCqllfTFQs/s640/blogger-image-1133839931.jpg"></a></div><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-25669728669063820062013-11-10T19:16:00.001-08:002013-11-10T19:16:45.703-08:00November 10: I'm thankful for lessons on Biblical submission!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Our pastor has been preaching through Ephesians and came to the passage for husbands and wives. However, it is started in the previous verse. "Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ."</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This verse was shared with me while I was working at a camp one summer in college. It was a difficult summer, mainly because of my direct boss. He wasn't really leading well and in my opinion, he wasn't deserving of my submission. One of my dear coworkers shared and encouraged me with this verse in the midst of our joint frustration with him. We were called to submit to his authority over us because of our reverence and walk with Christ.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Easier said than done. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">A lesson I reflect on often...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLL0xpQWKEXfCkGTIdW3E5e9LpdGeITZZhdiZKYG7NHS6JriJRvUf9hFiCTyZO4coXl6yNz4FEWbNf0GfI3QNmaXaIR9Pe1UN3qQhGdRBhbrjzvkZg1z0uY-CDQFbulexvRGAmZI1abQ/s640/blogger-image--690834892.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnLL0xpQWKEXfCkGTIdW3E5e9LpdGeITZZhdiZKYG7NHS6JriJRvUf9hFiCTyZO4coXl6yNz4FEWbNf0GfI3QNmaXaIR9Pe1UN3qQhGdRBhbrjzvkZg1z0uY-CDQFbulexvRGAmZI1abQ/s640/blogger-image--690834892.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-74176221093759648082013-11-10T19:07:00.001-08:002013-11-10T19:07:01.639-08:00November 9: I'm thankful for rest!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz5Tp5Xw0__Ebj36T7c62gkG94HaGPSpfkQuYr8LDFGhjnb4S7YvcZhWAipU4xU0tITkcTdU4aaVOUDe7RXhz2cuAFnBgfMAZyVVpf_I_laXe38QDcsjnUdAhdEP_tba_-GgEhu9XWcBo/s640/blogger-image-135755000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz5Tp5Xw0__Ebj36T7c62gkG94HaGPSpfkQuYr8LDFGhjnb4S7YvcZhWAipU4xU0tITkcTdU4aaVOUDe7RXhz2cuAFnBgfMAZyVVpf_I_laXe38QDcsjnUdAhdEP_tba_-GgEhu9XWcBo/s640/blogger-image-135755000.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm thankful for the rest The Lord provides. I'm thankful for weekends to relax, recuperate and rejuvenate. Thankful for a king-sized bed that provides good rest!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">By the way... Isn't the quilt beautiful?!?! My mom and I sewed it and she quilted it!</div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5359153954646142382.post-27884476389084873392013-11-10T09:48:00.001-08:002013-11-10T09:48:57.649-08:00November 8: I'm thankful for the technology to connect!<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCIRl3U6QHF3x4BhcQY4L57dFo5cE924xhalr4LN6-X7ECLTFyJ1S_VGrlhSgd8rEyuf2Kpfe3YlJiWwokRieYl7Pr3ZQPHy7Dh-A8IZIb8RiZmfcHdMi92sPd6nJ7BbHh2aOy8TySUg/s640/blogger-image--2078314869.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibCIRl3U6QHF3x4BhcQY4L57dFo5cE924xhalr4LN6-X7ECLTFyJ1S_VGrlhSgd8rEyuf2Kpfe3YlJiWwokRieYl7Pr3ZQPHy7Dh-A8IZIb8RiZmfcHdMi92sPd6nJ7BbHh2aOy8TySUg/s640/blogger-image--2078314869.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">We use technology so seemlessly now. At times it is an idol or distraction. For those reasons, I'm not always thankful for it</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">However, I'm thankful that it allows me to keep in lose contact with my sister in India. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm thankful it allows me to communicate with friends and family near and far. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm thankful it allows me to watch a former student play in their first D1 basketball game. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I'm thankful it allows me to text Philip or a friend while at work when I'm having a rough day. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Without it, these things would not be impossible but they would not happen as easily. </div>The Ingramshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11195816656299254537noreply@blogger.com0