Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Weight of the Wait

We received a number today.

It was bigger than I wanted it to be.

I will admit that I did cry on my way home thinking about the reality, weight and wait of this number.

This number means so many things and could be interpreted a thousand ways, but in the end, it is one number.

113. It is prime (yes, the math teacher comes out quickly to analyze this number). It isn't a pretty number that is perfectly factorable or has a square root or even has some great significance.

Today though on May 1, 2013 it is the number we received.

What does this number mean?

112 + 1 = 113

That 112 children (more actually counting siblings) will be placed with their forever families and be orphans no more when we receive our referral.

That 112 families who have been on this journey longer than we have will have seen God's sovereign hand of provision by placing their newly adopted child into their family.

That 112 other families and children will be joined together through God's plan of adoption when God brings our number to the top of the list.

When I think of those meanings of 113, I can focus on God's sovereign plan and that this wait is worth it.

But before I go much further, I confess that the first thoughts that came to my mind on what this number means were, well, different than those above.

113 meant that though I wanted this number to be only a two digit number it wasn't.

113 meant that my perfectly planned timeline for the next 12-16 months may not be what actually works out.

113 meant that though we knew the stories of the wait time in adoption was difficult, that our story may also be the same and that this was maybe longer than I bargained for.

Yep. It is true. My first thoughts were all about me and my plans and the way I wanted things to work out.

As the tears came again unexpectedly, I decided to read Psalm 113.

Praise the Lord that The Word of God is living and active!

This word today, at this time, and even this specific numerical chapter out of His Word was exactly what my heart needed to hear.

I will let it speak for itself.