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Doing What I Can Do
1 year ago
Sunday, November 3, 2013
November 3: Our Adoption into God's Family
Today, on Orphan Sunday in November which is also Adoption Awareness month, I am grateful for my adoption into God's family. Without it, I have no hope. With it, I am coheirs with Christ. My heritage is with the saints in heaven.
November 2: Thankful for the Church
I am thankful for the Church!
Even though this post is a day late and Saturday is not the day I spend time at our church, First Free, yesterday was a Saturday where I was reminded of the impact and ministry of the church in my life. I spent part of my morning with some incredible women celebrating the birthday of one of our pastor's wife. Even though we were there to celebrate and encourage her, I walked away encouraged and blessed by her as well as the other women there.Yesterday afternoon I got to sit down for an hour with Maggie Black. She has 6 kids and a busy life, but yet carved out time to chat with me yesterday.
Today in church, we were given an incredible sermon about God's glory being manifested when we meet in church as a body of believers to sing and worship together which edifies and builds up the body of Christ, his church.
Philip and I have attended First Free since we moved to Wichita in the summer of 2006 and we are so grateful for the body of believers we are a part of and the good ministry of God's Word that happens there each and every week.
Friday, November 1, 2013
November 1: I am Thankful for...
The Sovereignty of God
This will be my first time posting something I am thankful for each day of the month of November leading up to Thanksgiving. I am (hopefully) going to post a picture with a short blog post each day.
Some might look at this graph negatively because as you can see over the past 4 months there has been little movement (only one spot actually this month).
I see this graph as a perfect depiction of God's sovereignty because it is reminding me that he knows the child(ren) that we will adopt and it is in his perfect timing that our family will be brought together through adoption. Yes, I would love to see those numbers drop quickly. As a math person, I know a flat line means little to no progress.
God, in his sovereignty, adopted us as sons.
God, in his sovereignty, brought us together as a married couple.
God, in his sovereignty, started us on the journey of adoption in 2012.
God, in his sovereignty, knows the number of hairs (gray and dark brown) on my head.
God, in his sovereignty, knew us before the foundation of the earth.
God, in his sovereignty, created us as his workmanship to do good works which he planned for us.
God, in his sovereignty, knows the number we will get via email before it is sent.
God, in his sovereignty, knows.
God, in his sovereignty, creates.
God, in his sovereignty, saves.
God, in his sovereignty, loves.
God, in his sovereignty, gave his only Son to die on the cross for MY sins so I might believe in him and have eternal life.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
One Year + One Month
It dawned on me a few weeks ago that we have been on this journey to adopt for just over a year and a month. You can read more about all the details and timing of the journey on this post.
As we have talked about our first year on this journey, we are both surprised and grateful for how quickly it has gone.
Even though our journey on this road of adoption has been a large part of the last 13 months, our lives have been marked by other highlights... a few are recounted below:
1.) We both changed jobs at the start of this school year. Philip has left the role of a classroom teacher and serves as the Behavior Interventionist at the same school. This role keeps him very busy during the school day, but he enjoys interacting with more students and staff. He is also gaining great experience to help him move toward a principal job someday. I changed schools from Southeast to South. I was telling a few folks this week that I really could not have asked for a smoother transition. I'm still teaching math (algebra 1 all day) and working on completing my master's field experience.
2.) In June, we brought a little chocolate lab named Lucy into our lives. Much of our daily routine has now changed as we have adjusted to having a high-energy, four legged creature live with us. She is now 5 1/2 months old and quickly approaching 50 lbs. I actually think she gets bigger each day while we are gone to school. Owning a puppy has definitely had its high and low points, but we have learned a lot about ourselves, patience and puppy behavior.
3.) My sister moved to India in August to help start a school.
4.) In early September, we helped to launch and lead a young adult small group ministry on Sunday evenings.
5.) My classes are finished for my master's and we have thankfully paid for each class as I've gone through so that when my master's is finished we will have no school debt from it.
6.) Philip got to do some to do some traveling for free. In September 2013, he won us a free trip (all expenses paid except food) to the Desiring God Conference which included airfare, hotel and conference registration for both of us. In July, he went to Portland for a week to a conference on positive behavior support to train him for his new position.
7.) On the adoption scale, I'd like to think we are 50% of the way there, but we do not really know. We are well over 50% of the way through the paperwork. We have probably paid close to 50% of the total fees and expenses. Time will tell how long we will wait.
That is a very quick year in review... maybe it is true that the more things change, the more they stay the same. :)
As we have talked about our first year on this journey, we are both surprised and grateful for how quickly it has gone.
Even though our journey on this road of adoption has been a large part of the last 13 months, our lives have been marked by other highlights... a few are recounted below:
1.) We both changed jobs at the start of this school year. Philip has left the role of a classroom teacher and serves as the Behavior Interventionist at the same school. This role keeps him very busy during the school day, but he enjoys interacting with more students and staff. He is also gaining great experience to help him move toward a principal job someday. I changed schools from Southeast to South. I was telling a few folks this week that I really could not have asked for a smoother transition. I'm still teaching math (algebra 1 all day) and working on completing my master's field experience.
2.) In June, we brought a little chocolate lab named Lucy into our lives. Much of our daily routine has now changed as we have adjusted to having a high-energy, four legged creature live with us. She is now 5 1/2 months old and quickly approaching 50 lbs. I actually think she gets bigger each day while we are gone to school. Owning a puppy has definitely had its high and low points, but we have learned a lot about ourselves, patience and puppy behavior.
3.) My sister moved to India in August to help start a school.
4.) In early September, we helped to launch and lead a young adult small group ministry on Sunday evenings.
5.) My classes are finished for my master's and we have thankfully paid for each class as I've gone through so that when my master's is finished we will have no school debt from it.
6.) Philip got to do some to do some traveling for free. In September 2013, he won us a free trip (all expenses paid except food) to the Desiring God Conference which included airfare, hotel and conference registration for both of us. In July, he went to Portland for a week to a conference on positive behavior support to train him for his new position.
7.) On the adoption scale, I'd like to think we are 50% of the way there, but we do not really know. We are well over 50% of the way through the paperwork. We have probably paid close to 50% of the total fees and expenses. Time will tell how long we will wait.
That is a very quick year in review... maybe it is true that the more things change, the more they stay the same. :)
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Being a Parent
When you google the definition of parent, it says the following...
1.) a father or mother
2.) be or act as a mother or father to (someone)
Another definition that struck me said...
"a guardian, a proctector"
"to act as a parent to; to raise and nurture"
Wikipedia says..
"Parenting (or child rearing) is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotion, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship."
I know my sources probably are not the best or most reliable but I would doubt that I would find definitions or descriptions that would be far from the ones above.
1.) a father or mother
2.) be or act as a mother or father to (someone)
Another definition that struck me said...
"a guardian, a proctector"
"to act as a parent to; to raise and nurture"
Wikipedia says..
"Parenting (or child rearing) is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotion, social and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Parenting refers to the aspects of raising a child aside from the biological relationship."
I know my sources probably are not the best or most reliable but I would doubt that I would find definitions or descriptions that would be far from the ones above.
As we have begun this journey of adoption with the end goal of starting a family by bringing children into our home and family, I have spent significant time thinking about "being a parent." I think most parents would tell us that you are never really ready to be a parent and you just learn as you do it. My mom likes to say that babies do not come with an owner's manual.
We are taking the non-traditional route to becoming parents in the world's eyes but in God's eyes it is the route in which he parents us so adoption is the deepest rooted path to a family established by the creator of the universe.
I could make a pretty long list of the training and requirements we have already gone through on this path to being parents, but do any these really train or qualify us to parent? Sure, they have been helpful an educational on what to expect and what to not expect. They have alerted us on the realities of bringing a child into your home who has only known the walls of an international orphanage as home. They have bluntly prepped us for potential medical, emotional and psychological issues that are present in many, if not most, internationally adopted children. These realities alone were enough to really cause us to pause and ask ourselves if we really are ready for this. Are we sure? Are we parent-material?
In the midst of asking these questions throughout this past year, God has brought to mind the ways he acts as our father. He has also shown and reminded me of the opportunities he has placed on our path to deepen our understanding and desire to be parents.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:10
Recently our pastor began a series on Ephesians and this verse was the conclusion of the passage he was preaching through one Sunday. However, you must read Ephesians 2:1-9 to really grasp the emphasis in this verse. It is GOD who prepare these good works (like parenting) for us to walk into. He is glorified as we obediently walk in these good works. He gives us the gift of faith through grace to follow him obediently.
This truth as well as so many others has been an encouragement to me in the midst of questioning if we are ready, if we are sure, if we really can and will be parents... Good parents.
The Lord has also put so many opportunities for us to "practice" parenting. Since we are both teachers, we have had countless opportunities to, in a small way, be a parent-role in the lives of some of students. The amazing part of these opportunities is that the Lord has used those students to teach and shape us more than we probably influence the students. We had the opportunity to host a college student for the summer. My sister called him our "summer son." It was a great chance for us to learn how to support and encourage a student heading off to college out of state. The more we interacted with him, the more we found ourselves invested in his success. I am sure we only had a small glimpse of what parents go through as they send their children off to college.
There are so many faces and names of students who have impacted the parents we will be someday. Sebastian. Thao. Josh. Tram. Kaheem. Courtney. D'Avonte. Jeremiah. Kikelomo. Teya. Donald. Steven. Alex. Joe. Tyana. Rebecca. Mineka. Jay. Austin. Richard. Ryan. EJ. Amy. Antoine. Halston. and countless more could be added to this list.
And the more recent parenting training has been the newest addition to 2469 S Linden... Lucy, our chocolate lab. We brought her home in early June when she was just over 6 weeks old and barely more than 9 lbs. Now she is 5 months old weighing 43 lbs. (those stats are not exaggerated!) She has revamped and rescheduled our lives in many ways, most for the good. She isn't a perfect puppy, but she loves us unconditionally and forgives quickly. Yes she is a dog, but we learn a lot about ourselves from having her around. We learn that having something so small rely on us for everything is taxing and rewarding at the same time. We learn that functioning off little sleep is difficult. We learn that sometimes you get a good routine established just for it to get upset and you have to start over again. We learn that we have to communicate so that she is taken care of. We are reminded even though it would be easier at times to not have her around that sometimes the easy route is not the most rewarding or most beneficial.
Does all of that mean we are ready and prepared to be good parents? Probably not. We really have no hope apart from God's grace guiding us through it day by day. His grace is what has show us these lessons through these experiences. All we can strive for is that he gets the glory out of our lives as singles, young marrieds and someday parents.
Luke 12:48b "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." We have been given so much in all areas of life, but especially in the area of family and the parents who have raised us. We pray that we will be good stewards of these good gifts when our opportunity arises.
There are so many faces and names of students who have impacted the parents we will be someday. Sebastian. Thao. Josh. Tram. Kaheem. Courtney. D'Avonte. Jeremiah. Kikelomo. Teya. Donald. Steven. Alex. Joe. Tyana. Rebecca. Mineka. Jay. Austin. Richard. Ryan. EJ. Amy. Antoine. Halston. and countless more could be added to this list.
And the more recent parenting training has been the newest addition to 2469 S Linden... Lucy, our chocolate lab. We brought her home in early June when she was just over 6 weeks old and barely more than 9 lbs. Now she is 5 months old weighing 43 lbs. (those stats are not exaggerated!) She has revamped and rescheduled our lives in many ways, most for the good. She isn't a perfect puppy, but she loves us unconditionally and forgives quickly. Yes she is a dog, but we learn a lot about ourselves from having her around. We learn that having something so small rely on us for everything is taxing and rewarding at the same time. We learn that functioning off little sleep is difficult. We learn that sometimes you get a good routine established just for it to get upset and you have to start over again. We learn that we have to communicate so that she is taken care of. We are reminded even though it would be easier at times to not have her around that sometimes the easy route is not the most rewarding or most beneficial.
Does all of that mean we are ready and prepared to be good parents? Probably not. We really have no hope apart from God's grace guiding us through it day by day. His grace is what has show us these lessons through these experiences. All we can strive for is that he gets the glory out of our lives as singles, young marrieds and someday parents.
Luke 12:48b "Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more." We have been given so much in all areas of life, but especially in the area of family and the parents who have raised us. We pray that we will be good stewards of these good gifts when our opportunity arises.
Saturday, August 24, 2013
The Timing of Everything (Adoption timing, that is):
**newest info will always be at the top**
Friday, September 14 - received a call from Lifeline that they received our application in the mail.
Tuesday, September 11 - mailed Adoption Application, Doctrinal Statement & Christian Questionnaire and application fee to Lifeline Children's Services in Birmingham, AL. If you are curious what their application or doctrinal statement look like, you can find them here.
Next up... We will get our September update to our number on September 3 as many members of the Ethiopia team will be traveling. A few extra days wait shouldn't be too bad.
August 1 - 86!! We could hardly believe how much movement we had this month. 16 spots! We were so excited that we moved so much but also that 16 more families were referred to their soon to be adopted child(ren). 19 children were placed with families this month!
July 1 - 102! We moved 7 places this month. Praise the Lord. This was very encouraging.
June 1 - 109 is the new wait list number. We hoped for more movement than just two places, but any movement is good.
May 1 - We received our first wait list number. 113. It was higher than we hoped, but we know God is in control. See blog post "The Weight of the Wait"
April 22, 2013 - We are officially DTC! Dossier to Country!
Once West Sands receives our dossier, they will review it to ensure it meets the criteria necessary and then they will send it to be authenticated by the State of Utah (where West Sands is located) then onto the US Embassy and Ethiopian Embassy in Washington D.C. for final authentication. It will then be sent back to West Sands and they will mail it to Ethiopia. Sarah said this process usually takes 3-4 weeks so our dossier should be in Ethiopia by mid-April. We will then be on the wait list from West Sands. We will receive a monthly email (our first coming in May) with the number we are on the wait list.
Monday, March 18 - We got a call from Sarah (Ethiopia adoption caseworker in Kentucky) that they received our payment and documents and that she was taking our entire set of dossier documents to Fedex that day to be mailed to West Sands (agency that Lifeline partners with to place children from Ethiopia). She also asked for what our preference was that the agency will use when determining a referral for us as we are on the wait list. This is the wording we sent her: "We would like to adopt two children with the oldest not being more than 4 years old. We do not have a gender preference. We are interested in adopting twins under the age of 4 if available. If one child is available, we would want them to be 2 years or younger at the time of referral."
Thursday, March 14 - We received our I-171H which is the approval from USCIS for our I-600A application. This is the LAST document needed to complete and finalize our dossier!! We mailed this along with our last agency payment to Lifeline on Thursday as well.
Wednesday, February 27 - we both got our biometric fingerprinting completed!
Thursday, February 21 - Wichita was in the middle of a pretty large snow storm that ended up accumulating 14+ inches of snow, but we got up early so we could brave the weather and snow packed streets to get to the USCIS office prior to our appt at 8 am. With only getting stopped once and needing a push to get moving again, we made it down there to find out they weren't open due to the snow storm (there is no phone number that we could call to find this out... love government offices!). The sign on the door said we could come back on any Wednesday to get our finger printing done so our plan is to go this upcoming Wednesday to get this taken care of.
Wednesday, February 20 - mailed all of the dossier documents into Lifeline to be reviewed. Once we receive the approval from USCIS, this will complete the dossier and all the documents will be sent to Ethiopia via a few offices in the US for final approval.
Saturday, February 16 - received a notice from the USCIS that they could not continue to process our I-600A approval as there was a request for further evidence stating in our home study that we had neither been rejected for a previous adoption or had been given an unfavorable home study in the past. This was alarming to us, but once we were able to talk to Lifeline and our social worker we found out the request for evidence is not that uncommon. Our social worker has amended the home study and submitted the new home study to USCIS.
Early February- We received our biometric finger printing appointment scheduled for February 21st @ 8:00 at the USCIS office in Wichita. We were very grateful that our appointment was scheduled for the Wichita office and that we won't have to drive to Kansas City to get this done.
Friday, January 18 - mailed I-600A application with home study, copies of birth certificates, marriage license and application fee to USCIS for approval from immigration to make a petition to adopt an international orphan.
Thursday, January 17 - received notarized and finalized home study in the mail.
Monday, January 7 - clearances from KBI and FBI came through.
Saturday, December 15 - we met with Sharon for our fourth and final home study meeting in Topeka as we were on our way to Philip's parents for Christmas that weekend. Sharon had sent us a draft of the home study document so we had proofread that and made a few slight tweaks. We also completed a checklist of medical and birth conditions that we were willing to accept in a referral of our adoptive child which Sharon will be adding to the home study document.
Monday, December 10 - Philip completed physical and blood work.
Wednesday, November 28 - Holly completed physical and blood work.
Saturday, November 17 - this was our third home study meeting. We discussed different aspects of the online training and readings we had completed. The main objective of this meeting was outlining the remaining pieces of paperwork that needed to be completed to wrap up our home study (financial worksheet, physicals with blood work, etc).
Friday, November 16 - went to the Police Training center to get our fingerprinting done for KBI and FBI clearances.
Monday, November 12 - Sharon came at 2 pm for our second home study appointment. We discussed different aspects from the training we had completed. Sharon also talked with both Philip and I individually. These individual conversations were mainly to determine if we were both on the same page in the adoption process as well as to get to know us better as individuals. She also gave us some more steps for us to pursue to check off the list. Some of these pieces are required for our home study and others are documents that will be included in our home study as well as the dossier.
We have both made appointments with our family doctor for physicals with lab work to ensure we are in good enough health to care for a child (these physicals have to be notarized). We have signed and mailed a clearance form to go to SRS/Child Abuse & Neglect Services to prove we have no criminal history related to child abuse. We will both go get fingerprints to be sent to KBI and FBI to receive clearance from those government agencies. We have contacted our employers to get a notarized letter verifying our employment and their expectation to keep us employed. We have contacted our insurance company to find out what percentage our insurance covers for any therapy (PT, OT, speech, etc) that our child may need as well as contacted the elementary in our neighborhood to see what services are offered there as well and all this info had to be filled out on a form for our home study. We also contacted the international adoption clinic at Children's Mercy in Kansas City for a form on what their fees are for an evaluation once we bring our child home. (The nurse I talked to was really nice!)
End of October - Early November - We have been working on completing the four pieces of our training for the education credits required as part of our home study. We have completed both online trainings as well as the online readings about the country of Ethiopia and now we are reading through the Connected Child book. All the training has been very beneficial.
Saturday, October 21 - Sharon arrived around 10:15 and we spent the next 2+ hours sitting and chatting with her. This was not nerve wracking or stressful at all. We were not worried about it, but there was some anxiety about it being the first meeting and the first time we met with Sharon. However, we quickly warmed up to her and she to us and we all laughed often throughout our conversation.
Friday, October 19 - we spent about 2 1/2 hours getting our house picked up and cleaned up for our first home study appointment Saturday morning. I know this really isn't all that noteworthy, but we felt good about it and felt prepared to have our home judged as to its suitability to bring a child into it.
Monday, October 15 - talked on the phone with Sharon, our social worker from Topeka. She outlined a few details that we would be doing throughout the home study as well as scheduled our first home study appointment for the following Saturday at 10:30 am. She apparently has dealt with many families similar to us that want to keep the process moving and feel better if there are things we can be working to accomplish so she gave us the following list of education training and reading for us to begin working with that are required as part of the home study or required for the dossier. These included (1) buying and reading the book, The Connected Child, (we got it in the mail this weekend) (2) registering and paying for online training for 10 education credits from the National Council for Adoption (we both have to individually complete this and it involves about 10 modules that includes reading, articles and some video interviews with adoption experts, social workers and famillies who have previously adopted), (3) registering and paying for an online webinar training from Lifeline and (4) readings on the country of Ethiopia from the Department of State and Travel Authority websites.
We also both had to complete about a 7 page autobiography answering questions about our families, our childhood, our relationship, our values, etc. It was very detailed and somewhat time consuming, but we know that it too is part of the process for the agency and government of Ethiopia to find us suitable for adoption. BUT we both got it completed this week so that is checked off the list.
Monday, October 1 @ 8 PM - we had a phone orientation interview with Sarah (Ethiopia program caseworker). The phone interview consisted of brief questions for her to get to know us better, a quick run down of the timeline and requirements of the Ethiopia program (she called it drinking from a fire hose... but she did assure us that all the info would be shared with us more than once as we go through each step of the program) and then the required questions she had to ask each of us individually that thankfully we answered No to all the questions that needed a no response (I had to say Yes to the question on any traffic violations... Philip laughed at me!) and then we had the opportunity to ask any questions we had for her.
The one thing she emphasized over and over again is that Lifeline is walking with us on this journey and they are there to serve us and answer our questions. This was reassuring to us and we are grateful for beginning to get to know Sarah and feel comfortable with the agency.
Our next step is to begin working with our Kansas social worker to set up the 4 appointments of our home study.
Thursday, September 27 - received a call from Sarah who is our Ethiopia caseworker that she had received our first set of documents and payment.
Tuesday, September 25 - mailed in first set of documents to our Ethiopia program coordinator at the Lifeline office in Kentucky with the first agency payment. Once Lifeline receives these documents, they will schedule our orientation interview with our program coordinator that will be over the phone since she is in Kentucky and we are in Kansas. :)
Monday, September 17 - received email confirmation from Lifeline Children's Services that we were accepted by them and will be contacted by one of their social workers to begin the process of the home study. Also, received two manuals (100 pages and 28 pages long) that outline the steps we will take to adopt. These were slightly overwhelming.
August 1 - 86!! We could hardly believe how much movement we had this month. 16 spots! We were so excited that we moved so much but also that 16 more families were referred to their soon to be adopted child(ren). 19 children were placed with families this month!
July 1 - 102! We moved 7 places this month. Praise the Lord. This was very encouraging.
June 1 - 109 is the new wait list number. We hoped for more movement than just two places, but any movement is good.
May 1 - We received our first wait list number. 113. It was higher than we hoped, but we know God is in control. See blog post "The Weight of the Wait"
April 22, 2013 - We are officially DTC! Dossier to Country!
Once West Sands receives our dossier, they will review it to ensure it meets the criteria necessary and then they will send it to be authenticated by the State of Utah (where West Sands is located) then onto the US Embassy and Ethiopian Embassy in Washington D.C. for final authentication. It will then be sent back to West Sands and they will mail it to Ethiopia. Sarah said this process usually takes 3-4 weeks so our dossier should be in Ethiopia by mid-April. We will then be on the wait list from West Sands. We will receive a monthly email (our first coming in May) with the number we are on the wait list.
Monday, March 18 - We got a call from Sarah (Ethiopia adoption caseworker in Kentucky) that they received our payment and documents and that she was taking our entire set of dossier documents to Fedex that day to be mailed to West Sands (agency that Lifeline partners with to place children from Ethiopia). She also asked for what our preference was that the agency will use when determining a referral for us as we are on the wait list. This is the wording we sent her: "We would like to adopt two children with the oldest not being more than 4 years old. We do not have a gender preference. We are interested in adopting twins under the age of 4 if available. If one child is available, we would want them to be 2 years or younger at the time of referral."
Thursday, March 14 - We received our I-171H which is the approval from USCIS for our I-600A application. This is the LAST document needed to complete and finalize our dossier!! We mailed this along with our last agency payment to Lifeline on Thursday as well.
Wednesday, February 27 - we both got our biometric fingerprinting completed!
Thursday, February 21 - Wichita was in the middle of a pretty large snow storm that ended up accumulating 14+ inches of snow, but we got up early so we could brave the weather and snow packed streets to get to the USCIS office prior to our appt at 8 am. With only getting stopped once and needing a push to get moving again, we made it down there to find out they weren't open due to the snow storm (there is no phone number that we could call to find this out... love government offices!). The sign on the door said we could come back on any Wednesday to get our finger printing done so our plan is to go this upcoming Wednesday to get this taken care of.
Wednesday, February 20 - mailed all of the dossier documents into Lifeline to be reviewed. Once we receive the approval from USCIS, this will complete the dossier and all the documents will be sent to Ethiopia via a few offices in the US for final approval.
Saturday, February 16 - received a notice from the USCIS that they could not continue to process our I-600A approval as there was a request for further evidence stating in our home study that we had neither been rejected for a previous adoption or had been given an unfavorable home study in the past. This was alarming to us, but once we were able to talk to Lifeline and our social worker we found out the request for evidence is not that uncommon. Our social worker has amended the home study and submitted the new home study to USCIS.
Early February- We received our biometric finger printing appointment scheduled for February 21st @ 8:00 at the USCIS office in Wichita. We were very grateful that our appointment was scheduled for the Wichita office and that we won't have to drive to Kansas City to get this done.
Friday, January 18 - mailed I-600A application with home study, copies of birth certificates, marriage license and application fee to USCIS for approval from immigration to make a petition to adopt an international orphan.
Thursday, January 17 - received notarized and finalized home study in the mail.
Monday, January 7 - clearances from KBI and FBI came through.
Saturday, December 15 - we met with Sharon for our fourth and final home study meeting in Topeka as we were on our way to Philip's parents for Christmas that weekend. Sharon had sent us a draft of the home study document so we had proofread that and made a few slight tweaks. We also completed a checklist of medical and birth conditions that we were willing to accept in a referral of our adoptive child which Sharon will be adding to the home study document.
Monday, December 10 - Philip completed physical and blood work.
Wednesday, November 28 - Holly completed physical and blood work.
Saturday, November 17 - this was our third home study meeting. We discussed different aspects of the online training and readings we had completed. The main objective of this meeting was outlining the remaining pieces of paperwork that needed to be completed to wrap up our home study (financial worksheet, physicals with blood work, etc).
Friday, November 16 - went to the Police Training center to get our fingerprinting done for KBI and FBI clearances.
Monday, November 12 - Sharon came at 2 pm for our second home study appointment. We discussed different aspects from the training we had completed. Sharon also talked with both Philip and I individually. These individual conversations were mainly to determine if we were both on the same page in the adoption process as well as to get to know us better as individuals. She also gave us some more steps for us to pursue to check off the list. Some of these pieces are required for our home study and others are documents that will be included in our home study as well as the dossier.
We have both made appointments with our family doctor for physicals with lab work to ensure we are in good enough health to care for a child (these physicals have to be notarized). We have signed and mailed a clearance form to go to SRS/Child Abuse & Neglect Services to prove we have no criminal history related to child abuse. We will both go get fingerprints to be sent to KBI and FBI to receive clearance from those government agencies. We have contacted our employers to get a notarized letter verifying our employment and their expectation to keep us employed. We have contacted our insurance company to find out what percentage our insurance covers for any therapy (PT, OT, speech, etc) that our child may need as well as contacted the elementary in our neighborhood to see what services are offered there as well and all this info had to be filled out on a form for our home study. We also contacted the international adoption clinic at Children's Mercy in Kansas City for a form on what their fees are for an evaluation once we bring our child home. (The nurse I talked to was really nice!)
End of October - Early November - We have been working on completing the four pieces of our training for the education credits required as part of our home study. We have completed both online trainings as well as the online readings about the country of Ethiopia and now we are reading through the Connected Child book. All the training has been very beneficial.
Saturday, October 21 - Sharon arrived around 10:15 and we spent the next 2+ hours sitting and chatting with her. This was not nerve wracking or stressful at all. We were not worried about it, but there was some anxiety about it being the first meeting and the first time we met with Sharon. However, we quickly warmed up to her and she to us and we all laughed often throughout our conversation.
Friday, October 19 - we spent about 2 1/2 hours getting our house picked up and cleaned up for our first home study appointment Saturday morning. I know this really isn't all that noteworthy, but we felt good about it and felt prepared to have our home judged as to its suitability to bring a child into it.
Monday, October 15 - talked on the phone with Sharon, our social worker from Topeka. She outlined a few details that we would be doing throughout the home study as well as scheduled our first home study appointment for the following Saturday at 10:30 am. She apparently has dealt with many families similar to us that want to keep the process moving and feel better if there are things we can be working to accomplish so she gave us the following list of education training and reading for us to begin working with that are required as part of the home study or required for the dossier. These included (1) buying and reading the book, The Connected Child, (we got it in the mail this weekend) (2) registering and paying for online training for 10 education credits from the National Council for Adoption (we both have to individually complete this and it involves about 10 modules that includes reading, articles and some video interviews with adoption experts, social workers and famillies who have previously adopted), (3) registering and paying for an online webinar training from Lifeline and (4) readings on the country of Ethiopia from the Department of State and Travel Authority websites.
We also both had to complete about a 7 page autobiography answering questions about our families, our childhood, our relationship, our values, etc. It was very detailed and somewhat time consuming, but we know that it too is part of the process for the agency and government of Ethiopia to find us suitable for adoption. BUT we both got it completed this week so that is checked off the list.
Monday, October 1 @ 8 PM - we had a phone orientation interview with Sarah (Ethiopia program caseworker). The phone interview consisted of brief questions for her to get to know us better, a quick run down of the timeline and requirements of the Ethiopia program (she called it drinking from a fire hose... but she did assure us that all the info would be shared with us more than once as we go through each step of the program) and then the required questions she had to ask each of us individually that thankfully we answered No to all the questions that needed a no response (I had to say Yes to the question on any traffic violations... Philip laughed at me!) and then we had the opportunity to ask any questions we had for her.
The one thing she emphasized over and over again is that Lifeline is walking with us on this journey and they are there to serve us and answer our questions. This was reassuring to us and we are grateful for beginning to get to know Sarah and feel comfortable with the agency.
Our next step is to begin working with our Kansas social worker to set up the 4 appointments of our home study.
Thursday, September 27 - received a call from Sarah who is our Ethiopia caseworker that she had received our first set of documents and payment.
Tuesday, September 25 - mailed in first set of documents to our Ethiopia program coordinator at the Lifeline office in Kentucky with the first agency payment. Once Lifeline receives these documents, they will schedule our orientation interview with our program coordinator that will be over the phone since she is in Kentucky and we are in Kansas. :)
Monday, September 17 - received email confirmation from Lifeline Children's Services that we were accepted by them and will be contacted by one of their social workers to begin the process of the home study. Also, received two manuals (100 pages and 28 pages long) that outline the steps we will take to adopt. These were slightly overwhelming.
Friday, September 14 - received a call from Lifeline that they received our application in the mail.
Tuesday, September 11 - mailed Adoption Application, Doctrinal Statement & Christian Questionnaire and application fee to Lifeline Children's Services in Birmingham, AL. If you are curious what their application or doctrinal statement look like, you can find them here.
Late August - Early September - We narrowed down the agencies we were considering to three and chose Lifeline Children's Services because there is a branch office in Topeka which means they can also complete our home study. (If we chose an agency that was not in Kansas, we would have to find another Kansas agency to do the home study. We decided sticking with one agency for everything would be easier in the long run for us. However, many people use an agency outside of their home state and have no difficulty doing this.) The staff we contacted at Lifeline with questions was incredibly helpful and they returned our phone calls and emails very quickly. Their quick communication was a big plus for us.
Late July - August - We began researching international adoption as thoroughly as we knew how. We contacted friends who had gone through or are currently in the process of adopting internationally. We researched MANY agencies (Christian and not) that did international adoption from Africa. This website was a great starting point. We also contacted families who had used different agencies for their international adoption. (This was SO helpful!) We talked with family and close friends for feedback and advice.
When we began our search, we were not sure about many things except we were sure we both wanted to adopt from Africa. We knew the cost to adopt internationally was immense so we also began researching supplemental funding options for adoption.
Late July 2012 - while driving home from dinner one night, I turned to Philip and said, "If we aren't pregnant by the end of this school, I think we should start the process to adopt."
Philip replied, "I think we should start now."
As we talked about this further, we both realized we had been praying, researching and thinking A LOT about adoption and just had not talked with the other one yet. Philip did not want me to feel bad that we had yet to get pregnant and I was not sure if Philip was as ready as I was to begin the process. God was working in our hearts individually to bring us to a point where we were both ready to take the step together, as a couple... as a family.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
August
Tomorrow is August.
Nothing exciting typically about the start of a month but August is usually a big month. This August... Well... It is pretty significant.
It is the beginning...
... Of my 8th year of teaching. Time has flown by!
... Of my job at a new school.
... Of meeting 120+ new students and meeting 120+ new co-workers.
... Of teaching my first online and my first college math course!
... Of forging new paths with new friends and new experiences!
... Of my sister's incredible, God organized career and address change to the other side of the world.
... Of re-establishing who I am as a teacher with new colleagues, students and administration.
... Of learning to connect well with close friends and my sister that are now far away in proximity.
... Of some of my favorite students' journey into adulthood as they head of to college! (I'm so privileged to know and have taught some incredible students in the SEHS Class of '13!)
... Of 2 digit numbers on our adoption wait list number.
... Of my final year of my 20s... I'm excited to fully embrace being 29 and ending my 20s well in the next year!
It is the end...
... Of my summer.
... Of an era, where my first place of employment at my first "real" job ends.
... Of working 7 years just around the corner from my sister.
... Of working with people and students who knew me for me and respected me.
... Of seeing dear friends and my sister on a daily basis!
... Of 3 digit numbers for our adoptions wait list number! (Really hoping here!)
August is going to bring about some pretty big changes in what has been normal and comfortable or me but I know all these changes are for the good for what God has for me as well as others in my life!
Let this whirlwind of a month begin! Bring on August. There is no turning back no!
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